When I was growing up, I was certain of two things: one, that both of my parents loved me very much. The second was that anytime my mother set foot outside of the house, she was going to be dressed to the nines. Her hair was going to be done, her nails were going to be freshly painted, and she was going to look fierce. Seeing my mother looking fabulous each and every day became embedded in my brain, so I when I grew up, I became fabulous myself. It wasn’t something “extra” that I had to do, it was a part of the routine.
Mom got manicures and pedicures on a regular basis, as well as massages. It wasn’t something that was considered only for “special occasions”. She kept an immaculate home and took good care of me and my dad, so she saw these things as a reward for being a good mom and wife.
Fast forward to me being 36 years old and a mother of two and I am definitely my mother’s daughter. Even though I work at home and don’t have to dress nicely on a daily basis, I do because it makes me feel good. Every day after getting my 7 year old off to school, I shower, put on makeup (on most but not all days), do my hair, and put on an outfit. When I look good, I feel good, and I much more productive.
Some of my friends tease me because I am known for “keeping myself up”. But it’s nothing that I strive to do, it’s just in my nature. It’s a part of my routine much like doing laundry, tidying up my home, cooking dinner, etc.
Sometimes as moms, some of us have a tendency to put everything we have into our children, and slowly, we forget about ourselves. We stop dressing nicely, or stop doing our hair. Maybe we don’t keep up ourselves the way we used to. Doing so takes a lot of energy. (and this I know firsthand)
I ask this: what have you done for you lately? Is life passing you by while you are focused on everyone but yourself? Do you feel guilty if you spend some time pampering and taking care of yourself and not your family?
If you answered yes to that, I have this to say: there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about getting your hair done or getting a massage or pedicure, even if it’s every once and awhile. Who’s to say it has to be either or? Who’s to say that if you either have to be a good mom or be fabulous? Why can’t you be both?
If you are not a girly girly type of chick and never have been, I totally understand. But if you used to be and now you aren’t, I ask you why? Is it because you don’t have the energy to anymore? Or is it that you don’t care? Or is it that you feel that spending some time on you will reflect negatively on your family?
I have a sign on my wall that says, “If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy”. And that is true in my house. If I feel miserable about myself, then I am not the best person to be around. But when I am looking great AND feeling great AND my kids AND family are doing great, watch out! I am a force to be reckoned with.
The moral of this entire blog post is to say this: you don’t have to feel guilty about taking some time out for you, no matter what it is.
Moms, what have you done for YOU lately? If the answer is nothing, I challenge you to do something just for you!