While I am all for family, there are some times when you have to keep it grown and sexy in your relationship. Whether you are married, in a serious relationship, or dating, keeping it sexy and spicy will go a long way.
Recently, I had the pleasure of speaking with Shannon “Goody” Gooden who is an AIDS activist and intimacy consultant. Goody works with one-on-one with men, women, and couples who want to keep it sexy in their relationships. Her no-holds barred approach has helped many people get that old thing back, so to speak. Hear what Goody has to say about keeping the spice in their sex life:
Why do you feel couples are still shy when it comes communicating their needs in the bedroom?
I think that for the most part we (men and women) are afraid that if we voice a desire for something different than what our mate is already giving us, we will come off as dissatisfied or unhappy..This is NOT TRUE! As you evolve as a person your tastes in music and arts and even foods develop and change…so do your sexual appetites and preferences. Not necessarily because you’ve had it somewhere else and want to try it at home…but because you are maturing and want to open yourself to new sensations…WITH your partner…
What can “toys” do to enhance a relationship?
I like to call them “intimate accessories” because they enhance the act, they don’t replace it. There are some great accessories that are focused on couples and they’re not all battery operated or phallic shaped. Accessories, lubes and edibles allow for more intense communication, sexually.
What can a couple do to break the ice sexually?
I would suggest having a conversation about it ahead of time just to see where you stand on new ideas in the bedroom. Then, a game to lighten the mood…perhaps naughty dice or some other game for lovers. Ladies, if you want to introduce accessories into the bedroom, don’t get anything “bigger” than him and let him “catch you” using it when he comes out of the shower or something…these things tends to unfold on their own after that! *wink*
What tips can you give to women about enjoying themselves and their bodies?
WOW…this would be a book! lol…but i will just give 4 for now… 1 – My biggest tip would be to use lubricant! Battery operated accessories tend to slowly evaporate natural moisture and if you’re self-pleasing w/o batteries, wetter is still better! 2- Create a realistic fantasy in your head for your self love session that you might be able to act out with your mate later. 3 – Don’t be afraid to be loud…it’s a fact that your breathing during climax directly effects the heights you can reach. 4 – Make sure you CLEAN your toys (with the right toy cleaner) after you play with them.
What is a must have toy all women should have?
THE BULLET! No doubt! The bullet is an egg shaped vibrator that is primarily used for clitoral stimulation. I swear by it! It’s also a great toy to bring home if you’re trying to introduce something new in the bedroom to your man. They come in a variety of speeds and colors…there are attachments and sleeves…I even sell one that connects to your mp3 player so you can literally LOVE your favorite song! (link NSFW)
Goody has also given me the opportunity to offer one lucky reader a Heart Throb Love Kit containing: Heat up your love life with the Heart Throb Love Kit! Kit includes 1 vibrating c-ring/G-spot stimulator, 1 bullet vibe with Silicone finger sleeve massager, 3 flavored condoms, 1 Lotto Love Scratcher game, 2 Oralicious flavored lube pillow packs, 1 Liquid Virgin pillow pack, and 1 Orgasmix pillow pack. This adorable tin heart contains everything you need to spark some new passion!
To enter, all you have to do is follow Shannon on Twitter and ‘Like’ The Cubicle Chick on Facebook. Also, leave a comment below letting us know why you want to win the Heart Throb Love Kit. Make sure to include your email address when commenting. One winner will be selected on 2/11/11 after 6pm CST. Giveaway open to U.S. residents only, must be 18 years or older to enter.
You can visit Goody’s online store, click HERE.