Last week, I had my annual Well Woman’s Visit with my gynecologist and after all of the pomp and circumstance, we got down to business. My doctor asked me “what are we going to do for birth control? Are we ready for a tubligation?” I cringed. Hell no, I am not ready. I mean, I do have 2 kids (age 17 an 7) but it ain’t over until the fat lady sings. RIGHT?
I am not sure where I want to go with this. A part of me is completely done with the notion of having more kids—I am 36 years old now and no spring chicken. When I was pregnant with my 7 year old when I was 28 years old, it beat my butt! That pregnancy took a lot out of me and I wasn’t even 30 yet—the thought of carrying around a baby for nine months at my age is a little scary. And yet I am not ready to close the door on the idea if you know what I mean.
My doctor also gave me the option of getting on Mirena, an IUD which stays implanted until you are ready to get pregnant. No having to think about taking a pill everyday. It sounded like a good idea, but I am not too keen on walking around with a foreign object in my body. IUD’s have never been my thing.
After discussing other methods, we were back on the tried and trusted pill. I have been on The Pill off and on since I was a teenager and it never failed—both times I got pregnant were when I was trying to get pregnant and stopped taking it, or when I skipped several days, and tried to double up and didn’t use a back-up method. When used correctly, The Pill always worked for me. And since it has been around longer than any other hormonal birth control, I tend to trust it more than these other “new” fangled contraptions.
I am NOT ready to close my womb forever, but I am not ready to have another baby. I am not even sure if I want to have another one at this point. So I am at that fork in the road—36 years old, 2 kids, and still on The Pill. I felt a little odd about this, but my Gyno assured me that it is okay to be on The Pill at my age as long as I am not a smoker and I don’t have any major health issues.
Am I the only one that doesn’t know what they want to do when it comes to having kids? Are there any other 36 year old women out there still on The Pill or other birth control because like me, you don’t know if you want to have additional kids (or kids at all)? Let’s chat, Cubes!
About The Author
The Cubicle Chick, otherwise known as Danyelle Little, is the owner and editor of TheCubicleChick.com. After losing her job in Corporate America in 2009, she found a way to channel her frustration into a site that focuses on work, life, and play. Danyelle blogs and administers this site full-time, freelances for several other sites and publications, and works as a social media consultant to other brands, bloggers, and businesses. You can learn more about her by visiting DanyelleLittle.com.
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I’ve tried the pill twice in my life for a total of 3 months of time and it is not for me. My body does not respond well to outside chemicals so we do other things. Either way, I’m in the market for reproducing of late so no pill (or other methods) for me. LETTARIP!
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I am 33 and I have a 4 year old. In my mind I am fine with one child and I feel truly blessed. However, I can’t say that I am ready for a permanent fix. It think it is comforting to know the option is still there if I want it. It is a big decision to make.
If there are no health risks, then I would continue to do what makes you comfortable. Interesting topic.
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As you know, I am pregnant. Once the doctors found out I would be 35 when the baby is born (by 2 months, mind you), it was all about advanced maternal age and pregnancy took on a whole new level of anxiety. I needed to have this or that test. Baby has higher risk of this and that. It has been the most stressful pregnancy thus far for me. I have decided to get a tubal with my cesarean this time around because I am done. I don’t “do” pregnancy well. But, even if I loved pregnancy, I still would be done. Pregnancy is not fun at all when they spend 9 months trying to scare the hell out of you.
That said, I think it is totally up to you what you want to do with your body and if you are happy with the pill, I am all for it. Whatever makes you happy… because I truly believe you know when you are done. I wasn’t after Joley but totally know in my heart that this is the very last time I ever want to be pregnant.
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Ooh congratulations! Well I’m 35 now so if I get preggo they’ll be telling me the same thing.
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I’m 34, and have been on the Pill since right before I got married, so a little over 13 years. I am one of the lucky ones to have had no side effects (except some weight gain), and have had the added benefits of clear skin, fewer mood swings, no cramps and light periods. A couple of years ago, I asked my doctor how long I could stay on the Pill. She said that as long as I’m healthy, I could stay on it indefinitely.
My husband and I don’t want children, so the question has come up about him getting snipped. Personally, I would rather stay on the Pill. I take medicine every day, so taking another pill is no big deal, and those little extra hormones make me a much more pleasant person!
This is just me – I know there are people who feel differently, but to each her own! Great topic, Danyelle!
I’m not 36 yet, but we do have 2 kids now. We are at the fork in the road as well, because I made it clear that at a certain age, I wanted to be done with kids. Even though I CAN have more, I’m not sure we’re going to have more. The pill is fine with me since I’m opposed to foreign objects in my body if at all necessary. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Interesting post on a very private, sensitive subject. Thanks for sharing, D!
I’m 34 and don’t want kids. I’ve known it for ages. However, I’m not keen on surgery – I throw up when things get too medical-y, and I bawl during my visit to the girl doc. Yet I’m awful about taking the Pill because 1) I generally can’t swallow pills, so even though the Pill is tiny, I still have to cut it in half, and 2) I’m really, really bad about remembering to take it.
Obviously, I don’t want any sperm and egg fraternizing, so I got Implanon, a super-thin piece of plastic with some kind of magic stuff in it that shields you from pregnancy. I had to have a friend hold my hand in the exam room with me when the doc notched open my arm and slid it into my upper arm, but having it has been wonderful. It’s highly effective and lasts for up to three years. I still use condoms as a back-up method because I prefer being careful, but the doc says it’s not really necessary (except to protect from STDs and such – duh).
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I am 35 and I have a 3 year old. I want one more child and we’re in the process of trying. The idea of being “advanced maternal age” scares me but that’s just how the timing worked. After that I think I’m done with the pill and will probably get an IUD so I don’t have to worry about it for 5 years. At that point, I’ll be fine with it being less flexible but I don’t think I’m ever going to permanently close down the shop.
Oh, this is SO what I’m dealing with right now. I’m having our third in a couple of months and I’m 99.9% sure we’re done. That .1% is keeping me from getting a tubal. I also prefer not to make any permanent decisions when I’m pregnant. So I’ll be holding off on that tatoo sleeve for a few more months
I also don’t like the idea of an IUD, but I think it may be the best way to go. Lots of my friends have them and say they’re awesome. I don’t know that I would ever go so far as to describe an object lodged in my cervix as awesome, but I guess if it keeps me from an unplanned pregnancy then I’ll take it.
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Well at age 37, I still don’t have any children. I always knew I would be the one popping out my first baby at 40. I don’t think I would do anything final to prevent pregnancy unless I was 100% sure I was done or knew I didn’t want to have children at all.
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34, 9 months preggo with #2 and mom to a 3-year-old. Our children are both girls so we’ve been going back and forth to see if we want to try for #3 in hopes that it will be a boy. I’m pretty adamant about not having children spaced too far apart, so if I don’t conceive again in the next 3-5 years, it’s highly probable that I’ll shut it down and enjoy my babies.
I’m not a fan of anything that messes with my hormones so it will be either a copper IUD (no hormones) or surgical methods.
Being 36 now and having four kids, I can truly say that I am done! My Husband wants another one, but I gave him a very polite, “NO WAY!” Lol -I have had problems in the past with the pill, and because of other issues, I’m not a candidate for Minera or other methods of birth control
so we just use other methods.
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At 30, I’ve made the decision to quit while I’m ahead. I have 2 kiddos an 8 year old and a 6 mo. old. While I don’t consider myself a spring chicken I also realize that I’m not over the hill. Compared to my friends I had my babies young. Many of my friends have no kids and here I am with 2. After I had my 2nd I felt at peace. The desire to have another is no longer present and I’ve decided that if I want another I will consider adoption. Lots of lil’ ones out here that need a good home and lots of love. I have the copper IUD that doesn’t release hormones and lasts for 10 years (opposed to 5 with the Mirena). I can say I’m truly happy with my decision. I love that it’s semi-permanant. It was an easy decision for me…no surgery, no pills to remember, and in the event I decide to have another (highly unlikely) I can.
I’m the other side of the fence kinda…I don’t want any kids and never did really.
I started on the pill in college but didn’t take them regularly, then tried the patch which made me itchy (then I started to hear bad things about it), I tried Nuvaring (kind of a nuisance), then went back to the pill, and now just regular ‘ol condoms.
However, I did take a look at Essure (permanent birth control) but I’m not really one for procedures…so I’m just careful as to not mess up my run
Don’t go putting any hexes on me either! LOL
fyi – I just wish these kids, yes kids 13 and 14 years old, took discussions like this about birth control seriously!
Oh and PS – no spring chicken? With all that shimmying, leg stretching, and wobbling you do?!
~Kesha
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“I don’t want any kids and never did really.”
Kesh that was me my ENTIRE life. I never even understood WHY people had kids. Then like a couple years ago it was like I went to bed and woke up understanding. That understanding changed to considering that changed to wanting. Trust me, my mother is ecstatic, she thought there was no hope (older brother has no kids either). LOL!
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Well, you know I’ll support you anyway I can once you start bearing those lil crumbsnatchers (er, I meant kids!), except with babysitting. Trust me, you don’t want me with your babies! LOL
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I really don’t understand why anyone would want to have a child beyond the age of 35 but to each her own. I’ve been on dang near every form of birth control and last year (at age 36) I finally opted for Mirena. Mainly b/c I was sick of the whole dr. office/prescription/refill dance. Talk about a PITA! Now, I don’t have to worry about anything for another four years. No buns in this oven!! 10 years of freedom would’ve been great, but no copper in this oven either!
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Well, I’m currently 8 months pregnant at the tender age of 36 (two months away from 37) with my 1st child. The reason…I didn’t get married until I was 33 and even after that, I had medical issues that made getting pregnant difficult. I am blessed to be pregnant (after all the crap I went through) and my husband and I are planning to try for another one early next year. My point is there are lots or reasons women have children after 35. (In fact I have a co-worker who had her 2nd and 3rd child at 36 and 38 – both healthy kids).
“I really don’t understand why anyone would want to have a child beyond the age of 35 but to each her own.”
Insight from a 35 year old: Girl I just started wanting them rug rats a couple years ago, then I hurt myself really bad and have spent the last 18 months going to doctors etc.
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Interesting post. I also had a GYN appointment and I’m basically on the flip side. She told me that if I wanted a child I needed to hurry up and have one within the next 2 – 3 years. Because I have lupus and just had second trimester miscarriage she’s thinking that after 35 is big fat no for me.
I’m the same age as you and on the pill too. I don’t want kids, but I’m mostly on the pill to help my skin and hair, and of course I don’t want kids! I want to go off it eventually because I’ve been having some health problems that I do wonder if they are being caused by the pill (dry eyes, and other issues). But I’m so afraid to go off it and have my hair fall out even more than it already is…
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