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Book Review: Startup Life, Balancing Relationships and Entrepreneurship

The Cubicle Chick — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:00:48 +0000

A few months ago, I received a book in the mail called Startup Life: Surviving and Thriving In a Relationship With An Entrepreneur. The title instantly had me at hello since I am an entrepreneur myself. The countless hours we spend growing our businesses and the stress it can sometimes cause being your own boss and wreak all types of havoc on your relationships. It’s not easy being the spouse or significant other of someone who owns their own company, so I felt that the title and the book was most appropriate for what I go through in my life professionally and personally.

Since I’ve been traveling so much and on the road, it took me longer than normal to finish the book. But I am glad I read it because it was packed with goodness that is well-needed in this day and age. There are so many of us out there who have our own businesses and may be struggling with how to balance it while having a relationship. I know firsthand how difficult this can be, making sure you have time for it all, without neglecting the one you love.

Written by Brad Feld and Amy Batchelor (a married couple who are both in the tech world and have startups), the book is a welcome breath of fresh air for those of us who are living this type of life. I personally enjoyed the candor and the conversational tone of the book. The section I liked the most was about “public versus private” and “online versus offline”. With prevalent social networks like Facebook and Twitter, it is so easy to put all of your business out there. But when you are an entrepreneur who may also be sharing these spaces with your spouse, significant other, or partner, lines can become blurred and indistinct. Startup Life gives real takeaways on how you can solve this problem and show the both of you what to share, and what not to share.

The book also discusses skills, tactics, and tools common issues and conflicts, money and finances, communication, and so much more. It’s a helpful real-life guide on how to deal with these issues effectively. Brad and Amy also give “case studies” of different couples from all walks of life and backgrounds who are managing to live their dream of having their own business while being with the one they love and care for.

Startup Life: Surviving and Thriving in a Relationship with an Entrepreneur is currently available at booksellers nationwide, and also on Amazon.

To learn more about the book, check out this recent interview with Brad and Amy below:

Disclaimer: TheCubicleChick.com received a review copy of the aforementioned book at no charge. This is not a sponsored or paid post, and all of the opinions expressed in this article belong to the author and are not indicative of the authors or publishers. Affiliate links are present in this article.

Photo credit: Amazon

About The Author

The Cubicle Chick, otherwise known as Danyelle Little, is the owner and editor of TheCubicleChick.com. After losing her job in Corporate America in 2009, she found a way to channel her frustration into a site that focuses on work, life, and play. Danyelle blogs and administers this site full-time, freelances for several other sites and publications, and works as a social media consultant to other brands, bloggers, and businesses. You can learn more about her by visiting DanyelleLittle.com.

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Got Jealousy? When Envy Rears Its Ugly Head. Is It About Them Or Me?

The Cubicle Chick — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:00:04 +0000

I would like to think that I am self assured, confident, and worry free type of gal. I am all of the above, but in reality, there are times that I question my thoughts and actions. No matter how much of a Digital Debutante I am, I sometimes worry about fitting in and gaining the respect of others. And I have also dealt with the whole “why not me?” complex that has sometimes showed itself when another blogger is given an opportunity that I am not. Instead of wishing that blogger well and congratulating them on their success, I have gotten into the whole, it’s all about me phenomenon. “Why not me?” “Why wasn’t I chosen for this?”

Being jealous is something I try not to be. But I would be lying if I said I haven’t been envious of others for their successes, even if I am proud of them and wish them well.

~~Am I bipolar?~~

This all came to me as I was sitting in a session during Mom 2.0 Summit last weekend. Blogger Helen Jane was talking about making a “Jealousy Map” when we started to feel pangs of envy as it relates to others. Making this chart can help us rid the feelings of inadequacy in ourselves. Her presentation called Solutions for A Painful Internet: Drowning in Possibilities? Try these Remedies was just what the doctor ordered. It’s the Who, Why, and What that we first need to identify when we begin to feel that green-eyed monster creep up on us.

There was an instant in the past where I just felt so bad about another opportunity a fellow blogger had because I wasn’t chosen. I felt inadequacy because I had more traffic than her, more “influence”, and I felt that I was cooler. The opportunity was something that really fit the voice of my blog, and the judgmental me part thought that her blog wasn’t. And when I found out she got chosen and not me, I felt low. Lower than low. Why not me? I turned her good news into a pity party for myself. And I tried to congratulate her but it was hard. Of course, she knew that I wasn’t being genuine with my whole “way to go” speech. She was a friend who knew my personality, and could see when I was shucking and jiving. Damn her. Damn me. And damn that jealousy. I never knew what to do with that feeling. I prayed about it. Journaled about it. But after that, whenever we were together, I never felt like I was on her level. She was now in the big leagues and I wasn’t.

{Womp womp. Cue the violins.}

A year or so later, during Helen Jane’s fabulous presentation, it hit me. Jealousy is something that may happen. And if it does, I have a cure. I can talk about it, get it out, make a Jealousy Map, and move forward. I don’t have to wallow in my own self pity. And I don’t have to throw shade to my friend or fellow blogger because of my judgment. And most importantly, I don’t have to feel inadequate.

See this is something that has really helped me in recent months: What’s for me is for me, and what’s not is not. I can’t possibly be chosen for any and everything that others are chosen for. Nor should I. I am not going to be right for every campaign, every opportunity, every junket, every video ad, every paid blog post, et al. My authentic self won’t let me because if I am always keeping it real, I can’t say YES to it all. But what I can do is be thankful of what I am selected for. And be thankful for the fact that I am able to live and eat on my blog—not everyone is there yet. And doing that instead of looking at what I don’t have will get me farther than being jealous of someone else.

Because being jealous won’t get me anywhere.

But being thankful and happy and positive will. Because what you put out in the universe, you certainly get back.

So, let’s discuss it. Does jealousy ever rear it’s ugly head in your life? How do you handle it?

Gen X’ers, do you remember Hey Jealousy by the Gin Blossoms? I thought it was appropriate. Also, it reminds us how really old we’ve gotten!

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Don’t Be Afraid To Say I Don’t Know

The Cubicle Chick — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 14:00:34 +0000

Believe it or not, there is power in saying “I don’t know.”

We are taught that know-it-all’s rule. The more you know (and the less you say you don’t know), the further ahead you can get in life. Right? But what if we were all honest with one another when we didn’t know the answer to a question?

Being in management and in Human Resources for years, I was schooled that I had to have an answer for everything. Not being able to answer an employee’s question was unacceptable. Most of the time, I did know the answer to their questions, but there were other times when I didn’t. I had to “fake it ’til I made it”, meaning I uttered what was probably nonsense and played it off until I was able to get an answer.

We can’t possibly know all of the answers to all of life’s questions. And simply not being able to answer a question by saying “I don’t know” should be enough.

You can even get clever with it. With the advent of Google, virtually anyone can look up the answer to a question. You can answer with “I don’t know….go Google it,” or something to that affect. Make them do the work!

Not knowing the answer to something is not the end of the world. When someone honestly answers me with “I don’t know, but let me find out,”, I feel like I can trust that person. Because an untrustworthy person would just give you any old answer without giving a damn. A person who cares and is authentic will be honest with you and admit that they don’t know. And they would probably be willing to go the extra mile and find out the answer for you.

Maybe if more of us said “I don’t know” when been asked a question we didn’t really have the answer to, their would be a lot less wrong information being passed around. Less rumors, less innuendo, and more honesty.

I don’t have all the answers, nor should I. What weight we hold on our shoulders by trying to know everything. I am now a proud “I don’t knower”! I am no longer afraid!

Are you afraid of saying you don’t know? Are you one of those types of people who just have to have the answer to everything? Speak on it!

Photo credit: Xorsyst’s Flickr Photostream

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Want to Impress a Guy? There’s an App for That!

Kid Noble Tech Dude — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 14:00:05 +0000

Written by Kid Noble, Tech Dude, The Cubicle Chick.com Contributor

We all try to put our best foot forward when it comes to the opposite sex. We make the best of our appearance, dress nicely, and try to hide our personality quirks that we feel might rub people the wrong way. Well Cubicle Chicks, if you’re looking for a new way to impress a guy, try doing it with your mobile device!

With thousands of apps on the Android app market, here are a few that will impress the guys:

ESPN ScoreCenter

The ESPN ScoreCenter app from ESPN Inc. keeps you up to date with live scores from all of the major sports around the world. You can personalize the app to show your favorite sports scores, or also your favorite teams. It keeps live box stats of every ongoing game, and also updates with breaking news and analysis from the sports world.

2. Bump

Bump by Bump Technologies allows users to bump their phones together and share contact information, photos, and even apps! All you have to do is both have the app downloaded and open, and bump your phones together, then decide what you’re sharing. Bump also allows users to find mutual friends through your perspective social networking sites. This app is perfect as not only a conversation piece, but for exchanging information with that cute guy you meet at Starbucks or while you’re out with your friends.

3. Google Reader

Google Reader by Google is the official Google Reader for Android. This app allows you to read all of your RSS feed news that you are subscribed to through your Google account. Every man enjoys a woman who is in the know of current events and able to hold conversation. The Google Reader app has the ability to keep you up to date on current events by following your favorite blogs (like The Cubicle Chick!) newspapers, and other website posts!

4. iCookbook (iOS)

As the saying goes, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” The iCookbook app not only offers numerous delicious ideas for meals, but also features hands-free voice command. This allows its users to simply speak a command to move to the next cooking step, manage timers, and view notes. Every man enjoys a woman that can cook, so an app providing more lunch and dinner ideas would ideally impress the man in your life!

5. USA Today (iOS)

USA Today is the official application for the newspaper in the iTunes app store. The content of the app is updated 24-hours a day, seven days a week. Similar to Google Reader, this app allows it’s user to stay current and up to date on what’s going on in the news. Every guy enjoys conversing with a woman who knows what she’s talking about! The USA Today app will ensure that you’re up-to-date on everything going on in the world!

Ladies, what kinds of apps do you have on your phone? Have you ever had one that’s impressed a man, or even some of your friends? Let us know in the comments below!

About The Author Reggie Noble

Kid Noble Tech Dude is a gadget and technology enthusiast who enjoys sharing his interests and knowledge with TheCubicleChick.com readers. Kid Noble Tech Dude is a frequent contributor to this site, and has a Bachelor Degree in Print Journalism from Lindenwood University, where he is currently pursuing his M.B.A. You can check him out on Twitter @kidnoble.

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Yes, Using Your Smartphone Constantly on a Date is a FAIL

The Cubicle Chick — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 14:30:34 +0000

While visiting Los Angeles this past weekend, I ate at a fabulous Mexican restaurant called Poncho’s on Manhattan Beach. I had to use the bathroom and happened to walk by what I assume was a couple at their table. They both were on their phones texting, surfing, and tweeting away. When I returned from the bathroom, they were still doing the same thing—no contact, no conversation, no engagement, just endless phone usage. My friends and I left the restuarant about twenty minutes later and the good looking man and woman were still heads down, fully engaged to whatever was going on on their phones. It was then that I thought that the whole using a smartphone constantly on a date situation was not a good look.

I am sometimes guilty of this. Being the Digital Debutante that I am, I am always responding to emails and working while I am out and about on my phone—the world does not stop while I am on the go, and I have the type of phone I have so I can still get work done while not being in my home cubicle. But I have tried to not let the phone distract me or suck up my attention when I am out with the significant other or a friend. Being on the phone while on a date or out with someone constantly is rude—checking it from time to time is okay; but the couple above who was on their phones for 30 to 40 minutes straight can’t be good for a relationship.

The advancement of technology has caused, in my humble opinion, people to be less focused on one another and more focused on what is going on everywhere else. Being plugged in all of the time really wreaks havoc on the way we communicate with one another. Instead of phone calls, we text and inbox one another, and everything has become automated and less personal. A date is the time to bond and to spend time with the one you care about—being on your phone during the whole date shows that the person you are with doesn’t have your full, undivided attention.

Last year while out and about with my S/O, I caught myself spending way too much time on my phone and he called me on it. I was told at that time it was either him or the phone, so unless it was an emergency, or a quick glance at an email, it shouldn’t be used, point blank period.

It is hard, but I have learned to keep my phone in my purse while out on a date, and we have a three minute rule on all phone use. After three minutes, we have to put our phones away, which has caused an increase in our conversations. We laugh more and we talk more, and generally have a better time when we are out.

Smartphones are the best thing since sliced bread, but they shouldn’t be a replacement for genuine communication and engagement during a date.

What are your thoughts?

Photo credit: Glamour Magazine

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Bridezillas: How Not To Be A Bi^%$ During Your Wedding

The Cubicle Chick — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 15:00:39 +0000

When I was married in 2005, I did everything I could not to become a Bridezilla. My wedding and the events leading up to it culminated in the first real season of ‘Bridezillas’ on the WE Network and seeing these brides made me realize that I was turning myself into a monster, which was not good. Now that wedding season (and a new season of ‘Bridezillas’) is here, how can one avoid becoming an angry demon during their wedding?

The series ‘Bridezillas’ began in 2001 and 2002 in New York City. It began as a program which showcased real brides in the Big City planning elaborate weddings complete with over the top budgets and over the top attitudes. I was engaged when I saw the first season of ‘Bridezillas’ and vowed that I wouldn’t dare become like the ladies I saw on television.

It seemed as though in 2005, the original producers changed the program from being a venue to showcase fabulous wedding fetes to showing brides of all types of socio-economic backgrounds becoming crazy monsters during their wedding preparations. What ‘Bridezillas’ became was a plethora of brides, some classy, most not, at their worst— evil and cruel. I got hooked instantly on the dramatics and tantrums I saw on the television, but I watched mostly because I was planning a wedding and I felt that I identified with the brides.

It seems as if every season, ‘Bridezillas’ attempts to outdo themselves by finding outrageous brides who are certifiable nutcases. I had to stop watching for awhile because it was getting to the point that the program appeared staged and fake. Now that the new season has begun, I am curious as to what this latest installment has in store. I plan on watching a few episodes to see if it catches my interest.

Wedding season is upon us and there is sure to be plenty of ‘Bridezillas’ across the world, screaming over their nuptials. One thing I can say is if you do not want to become a Bridezilla during your wedding, simply have someone in place to check you. If you have a person whom you respect check you when you get out of hand, there are sure to be less meltdowns. Also, if you find yourself getting ready to explode, relax, count to ten, and focus on a solution without lashing out at others. ‘Bridezillas’ may be an entertaining television show, but it is not a good thing to be in real life with your friends and loved ones. Don’t ruin your wedding by being a bitch.

Were you a Bridezilla when you got married? And if you aren’t married or have never been, how do you think you will behave during your wedding preparations? What do you think of the first season of ‘Bridezillas’ so far?

‘Bridezillas’ airs on WE on Sundays. Check your local listing for times.

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5 Fabulous Things You Need To Do With Your Girlfriends

The Cubicle Chick — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 15:00:25 +0000

There is nothing like a good group of girlfriends to make your life complete. Your girls are your rock when you need some strength, a shoulder to cry on when you get down in the dumps, and lend a listening ear when something is heavy on your heart. Good girlfriends are hard to come by these days, so when you have a crew of chicks who love you unconditionally no matter what, it can be one of the best feelings in the world.

As with any relationship, your friendship with your girlfriends needs to be cultivated. Doing the run of the mill same ole same ole can cause a rut in your lives. Do something different, something fun with your girls to keep the fun and the flyness in your friendship.

Below is a list of 5 things you can do with your BFF’s that can give you memories that will last a lifetime. Ready, set, go!

Slumber Party-

I know this idea may sound childish, but believe me, an overnight stay in a luxury suite with a few girlfriends, drinks, and even a stripper on deck is fabulous fun. A few years ago, five girlfriends and I held a party in a luxury suite here in St. Louis and we are still talking about it. We had a spa service called Day Spa Divas come to the hotel and give us manicures, pedicures, and massages. We ordered in catered food, danced, drank, and had a good old fashioned time! We could drink as much as we wanted because we were in the room and not going anywhere! It was one of the most fun I have had in a long time and I want to do something like that again really soon.

Limousine Please-

There is nothing like having a limo and chauffeur at your beck and call. Get the girls together for a night on the town and make it complete by getting a limousine to shuffle you to dinner and all of the hot spots. Definitely a VIP kind of thing.

Spa Day-

Many luxury spas now offer private group service. Rent out a private room at a spa and get custom spa services while chowing down on hors d vours and drinking champagne. A spa day is a great way to relax and catch up on all the girlfriend dish in a group setting.

Girlfriend Getaway-

A girlfriend getaway is a must. There is nothing like getting away with a group of your BFF’s and having the time of your lives in another locale. You can take a cruise together, or better yet, trek to NYC for a shopping trip, or Miami for a little beach fun. Traveling with your girls is another way to learn more about one another while enjoying a different setting.

Throw A Party-

One of my friend’s Aunts and her group of girlfriends throw one huge party every year and celebrate their birthdays together. They rent a VIP room in a nice club and invite their closest friends and have a fabulous time living it up in the posh environment of an upscale venue. Throwing a group party can be a fun way to bond with all of the planning that is involved.

I hope some of these tips have given you inspiration for your next girlfriend activity. Having great girlfriends by your side is a must! Enjoy it by thinking outside of the box and doing something different!

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Couple Bonding Time: Watching Sports Together

The Cubicle Chick — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:00:19 +0000

Football is a sport that I have come to love during the last ten or so years, but I must admit the NBA Finals this year has really kept my attention. I tend to do a lot of commenting on it on Twitter while watching the games and I got a lot of attention from the fellas—they love a girl who can discuss sports and know what she’s talking about.

As an only child, I grew up in a household where my father wanted a boy. And since he didn’t have one, he would have me sit with him during basketball, football, and boxing. I really didn’t care to watch, but it made my dad happy so I went along with the program. As soon as I got old enough to have other things to do during this time, I stopped watching sports with my dad. I had things to do and people to see! Since I became an adult, I found myself watching more and more sports on television, especially football. I found that my knowledge of sports helped me in relationships and became a bonding experience for me and my significant other.

Sports is a really huge entertainment avenue, and being able to enjoy watching sports with one another can act not only as a time-sharing and bonding tool, but can bring the two of you closer together. There is no man on the face of this earth that is into sports that doesn’t appreciate a girl that not only enjoys watching the game, but knows the terminology and method behind it. If a guy had a choice of sitting with his boys or staying in with his girl who is an avid sports fan (and who happens to look good in his favorite jersey), we all know who he would choose!

I have friends that hate watching sports with their men and husbands and only watch the Super Bowl with them—and that is to enjoy the commercials. To this I say, girl, you better start putting in some time with him watching these games, because if you don’t, surely there is someone else who will.

I am not saying that you have to be up on every game scowling at the opposing team every week. But I am saying show some interest. It will go a long way, and he will thank you for it.

Contrary to popular belief, more and more women are into sports these days. Watching a great game with your boo can make a great evening of fun for the both of you!

Cubicle Chicks and Dudes, what do you think of bonding over a game? Can it bring couples together? Speak on it!

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Are you a great connector?

The Cubicle Chick — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 13:30:53 +0000

Over the last few months, I have been trying to challenge myself in an array of areas. One of those such areas is connecting others who would benefit from the connection. I was poor at this previously and thought it was high time I began giving back what had been given to me. Connecting and networking has really made my blog and other projects thrive, so being the facilitator of such opportunities is something I wanted to participate in.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do you go out of your way to connect the people in your network who have like interests and business acumen?
Do people look at you for business contacts?
Do you hoard all of your networking contacts or do you share them with others?
Are you comfortable sharing your contacts?
What are they ways you connect people?
Have you benefited from others connecting you?

If you have answered yes to all or most of these questions, then you would be looked at as a great connector. That is a good thing because I do believe in karma—what you get out is what you get back. When you connect others, then likely, others will connect you as well and it becomes a win/win situation.

Connecting others is also an art form. It’s not about just about linking people with similar goals. It is also about making a connection that is also complimentary to those involved. It’s almost like playing a matchmaker, but without all the romance and drama.

I challenge each and every one of you reading to become a great connector. Connecting has really improved my business and has made me stronger with developing friendships within my sector as well as out.

Are you a great connector?

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Perception is 9/10ths of the rule: How are you perceived?

The Cubicle Chick — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 13:30:44 +0000

This weekend while reading my friend Robyn’s blog, I came across a post she wrote about the movie Black Swan. The post was called, ‘Are you a Black Swan or a White Swan?’ and included a “personality” type of test you could complete online. I joked with her that I was a “white swan trapped in a black swan’s body” but I wasn’t being funny when I said it—I truly feel that I am perceived by others as being bold, headstrong, opinionated, and bossy, qualities that the Black Swan definitely holds.

For me, I know I am all these things, but I also have plenty of White Swan qualities as well. I am very giving and generous and loyal to my friends. I can also be quiet and shy and introverted—most people don’t see me this way because I am usually the loud one at the party, but there are parts of me that are reserved and to myself.

All of this got me to thinking how we are perceived by others isn’t always how we perceive ourselves. Of course our judgment of ourselves can be a bit cloudy and convoluted because many of us don’t like to point out our less than stellar qualities. But I also think that the way you carry yourself can cause others to judge you quickly before they even get to really know you.

When I walk into a room, my head is held high. I am strong with my eye contact and handshakes. I am not a wallflower—people perceive this to be a brash, no nonsense woman, but I am far from that. I am not always sure of myself but you would never see that in public. I come from the school where you never let ‘em see you sweat—I will never let anyone know they’ve gotten the best of me even when they have.

I hate to use the word swag so I will say this—-my aura is quite dominant; but I’m a softy!

If people went by their perceptions of me instead of really getting to know me, my assertiveness could turn them off. But at the end of the day, I can only be me.

I can’t water me down.

How do others perceive you? And are their perceptions on point or are they incorrect in your eyes? Can you change the way you are perceived by others? Let’s discuss!

Photo credit: Happy Black Woman

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