I received my son’s report card for the first trimester of school today. He had all A’s and B’s and then a C minus in Geometry. Mind you, he went from having a B the first progress report, to a A the second. But his final grade for the trimester? A C minus.
I asked him what happened while we were riding home. He told me it was the teacher’s fault he received a C minus. “I don’t like the way he teaches,” my son says.
It was then that I got really upset. First of all, I am not a parent that takes excuses. For him to blame his grade on his teacher and the fact that he didn’t like the way he taught was inexcusable. This is the same teacher he had for the previous grading periods. He never once since August told me that he had a problem with the teacher. So why now?
I told my son that he is responsible for his grades. If he needed help or more instruction, it was up to him to verbalize that to me. I don’t want to raise a child who gives excuses all of the time without taking responsibility for his actions. As I mentioned on Twitter during my rant about this very subject, kids that give excuses turn out to be adults that give excuses. I cannot and will not have that.
My son was getting frustrated because he knew I was right. He then says to me, “Well I read that Will Smith got C’s. And look where he is.”
It took everything in me not to snap at that statement. But I remained calm, or at least tried to. I told him, “For every Will Smith, there are one hundred thousand young men such as yourself who never make it as an actor. You have to be prepared for life, period. And having good grades is very vital to that.”
I also told him that he will be driving soon. He will be embarking on a lot of milestones these last few years of high school. But him having “average” grades will not help him in his plight. If he gave one hundred percent and got a C, I would understand. But I know that this trimester, he did not give his all. And now he must suffer the consequences.
Kids say the darnedest things, but I didn’t think my son’s statement was cute or appropriate. He will thank me later.
End of rant
I like what you said to him…needless to say it is the truth! If he did give it his all and came with a 'C', then I could see (no pun intended)…but not if he was just moving along…that only means that he is not applying himself…and he knows that too! Good parenting (I too have to hold back from pulling my kids' tongue right out of their head…lol!)
-Tsahai (Shima + Sahai)
I have had two teachers who, if I'd done poorly in their classes, would have been at fault for my less than stellar performance. Other than that, any time I haven't done as well as I could have, it has been completely my fault. Most teachers, in my experience, are very willing to help students who are working hard or willing to start putting in an effort. Most high schools' chapters of NHS offer tutoring for free, and sometimes college students are willing to tutor for a low rate. Seems like maybe your son just got a little tired of geometry toward the end of the semester. 🙂
I'm not a parent, but I think you are right to refuse to encourage or allow your son to be someone who blames others or gives excuses for his mistakes.
I had a couple of really lousy teachers myself, but you usually know that at the beginning, not this far into the school year. Personally, I think it helps prepare you for having to deal with difficult coworkers and bosses.
When I was in high school, I had an English teacher that did NOTHING except fill the chalkboards with stuff for us to write while we were in class, then tested us on it. No real teaching, no discussion, just memorize what I write on the board.