Let me preface this post by saying I am not a spanker. I do not spank my children, although I have spanked my now sixteen year old when he was smaller. My six year old hasn’t been spanked at all; with her, a good talking to or chastising does the trick. However, I do thinking that in some instances, a good spanking is needed to get your children in order, and I am not against parents spanking their children as a form of discipline. But it seems that our society frowns on spanking as an inhumane way to deal with punishing our children, which is something that I do not agree with.
I wasn’t spanked much as a child but that is because my mom ruled my home with an iron fist. She spoke and I listened because I didn’t want to even see that belt. When I became a mother, I spanked my son sparingly and it did get him in line and it always worked. A friend of mine spanked her kids all of the time and I think after awhile, the kids became desensitized to the whole thing and acted up anyway. I think spanking can work when used correctly. When overused, it is a crutch that may not discipline.
Spanking is oftentimes confused with abuse. You can spank your kids without abusing them. I have had horror stories of children saying that they have been spanked, and schools and officials investigating this because of supposed abuse. I think that is proposterous and wrong. Does spanking lead to abuse? Of course, it can if the parent gets out of hand. But a spank here or there is not the same thing as abuse and shouldn’t be treated as such.
Once while I was in the store, I heard a mother threaten her child with a spanking and the child replied, “If you spank me, I am going to call the police and tell them you abused me.” Now that is wrong on so many levels, I don’t even know where to begin. If I had of said something like that when I was a child, it would’ve been met with a swift pop to my jaw. Kids now feel like they have the upper hand because they could scream the abuse card, but alot of this has to do with the way our society treats spanking.
There is nothing wrong with spanking your children, when necessary, and it should never be confused with child abuse.
Do you spank your child(ren)? If not, what do you think about those parents that do? Speak on it!
I think it's a good challenge to try newer forms of discipline that don't involve negative physical contact, but as I have not yet really learned how to do this properly, for now I do use spanking – not hitting – as discipline on my child. Really often all I have to do is suggest a spanking to improve his behavior.
I've found that spanking works well on the spouse, too.. but not so much for discipline.
One thing I know I have to be careful of when I am tempted to spank is, HOW AM I FEELING? Am I feeling frustrated? Out of control? Tired? Overwhelmed? Yelling and spanking, if the parent has no self-control, damages the child AND the parent. The parent needs to learn how to cope.
Now of course outside of that, if a child acts up every now and then, you may have to spank, but it depends on the child's temperament and so many other things. Like you said, some kids are so strong-willed, you can spank them and they won't care.
I agree with Tung & DareeInsights. When my older children were toddlers I tried not spanking and it seemed like that was my only recourse. Time out didn't work. Now that they are tweens time out and restricted privileges works just fine. Still trying to find the right balance for my six year old but I can say it has been quite a while since I gave a spanking.
I never do to others (kids included) What I wouldn’t have them done to me.
yes I spank mine, when they deserve