So, I’m doing THING! Join me and the cast of thi So, I’m doing THING! Join me and the cast of this year’s @shesaidstlouis  on Friday, March 10th at The Sheldon. We’ll be sharing our stories monologue style, and it’s going to be a good time. If you’d like to get tickets, hit me up! A portion of the proceeds will go to @rungforwomen. 👍🏾
February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partn February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partnered with @MedIQCME and Duke Health to raise awareness about atrial fibrillation (AFib), also known as irregular heartbeat which affects 12 million people.My father was diagnosed with AFib and my family has a history of this condition, so I do my best to learn as much as I can about it.

I’ve learned that when the atrium’s squeezing becomes irregular, blood doesn’t flow as smoothly through the heart and clots can form. Those clots can travel to the brain, disrupting the oxygen supply and causing a stroke. People with AFib are at approximately 5 times greater risk for stroke than those with regular heartbeats. Stroke is a leading cause of death and also of serious, long-term disability. It is essential to get to a hospital quickly if you suspect a stroke in yourself or others.Learn the acronym FAST to recognize the signs of stroke: 

F = Face. Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?

A = Arms. Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? 

S = Speech. Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is the speech slurred or strange?

T= Time. If you see any of these signs, call 9-1-1 right away.

Take this survey (link in bio) for the chance to win 1 of 5 $100 VISA gift cards—takes less than 10 minutes.

Thanks, @mediqcme, and Duke Heart. Supported by an educational grant from the Bristol Myers Squibb and Pfizer Alliance.
Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time w Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time with roses and a little Stevie Wonder. I could do this all day! 🌹 #traderjoes #flowers #roses #therapy #selfcare
Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is my absolute favorite meal and @louieswinedive in Clayton treated us so well! I will definitely be back. 

#brunch #stl #stlouis #food #stlfoodie #hosted
Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis
A generous heart is always open, always ready to r A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love, we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.” — bell hooks
One more week before she goes back to school for h One more week before she goes back to school for her second semester. Reppin #stl and @seriessixcompany. 

#stlouis #collegekid #stlmade #mykid
Flower arranging has become the self-care I didn’t know I needed. It’s a tranquil and relaxing experience for me. Get into it. 💐 #traderjoes #flowers #therapy #selfcare
It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me toda It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me today as I spent the first day of the year taking care of my mind, body, and soul. It went something like this…. #newyear #selfcare #overforty #fortyish
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Featured, Holidays, Office Stuff, The Water Cooler, Watercooler · November 14, 2013

Cubicle Confessions: I Lied To My Spouse About Not Getting a Christmas Bonus


Cubicle Confessions

I am hardly a relationship expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought I could at least tackle this question sent to me by longtime reader Logan*, who has a situation that relates to his upcoming Christmas bonus. I’ve done a few blog posts on Christmas bonuses before, so it fits well within my spectrum—but the real kicker of this conundrum has given me pause. But don’t take it from me. Read for yourself:

First off, I want to say that I’ve been reading your site for about six months now. I am not a Cubicle Chick, but enjoy your articles, especially the tech reviews and the career posts. I appreciate your hard work a lot.

I searched your site to see if you had blogged about Christmas bonuses before, and I see you have. My question is rather complex, but thought you might address it in your Cubicle Confessions. I was notified by my boss that I would be receiving a sizeable Christmas bonus this year after not getting one last year. I’ve been with the same company for ten years and got a Christmas bonus every year but last year. The bonus this year is triple what I got in 2011. My wife thinks that I won’t be getting a bonus this year since I didn’t get one last year. I don’t want to tell her because she is bad with money and she will go through it all in a few months. I want to save the money and so we can finally buy a house in 2014. This bonus is large enough that it can help us with the downpayment.

I’ve been married to my wife for six years and I love her a lot. But I have gone into bankruptcy because of her spending and now I also have poor credit. Letting her know about the bonus will just open up a can of worms that I don’t want.

I know I sound like a bad guy, but I am doing this for the family. I am tired of not getting ahead. I want to invest in a home and pay off some bills. If she gets her hand on the money, we won’t be able to. She will run right through it. What is your advice?

Lying in a relationship is not good, period. No matter how much you try to make it seem that you are doing the right thing, you are lying and keeping something from your wife. How would you feel if she kept something like this away from you? In a marriage, you must communicate and be honest. You need to tell your wife about the bonus. But also tell her that it will go towards paying off debts and for a downpayment for a home. Let her know what the money will be used for and it isn’t for her to spend frivolously. You can even let her know that the funds will be put in a separate account and not commingled with the other funds so she won’t abuse it by spending.

There’s nothing wrong by opening a separate account and keeping the funds in it for the future for the two of you. But not telling her about the bonus is a no/no. Nothing good will come of it.

Congratulations on getting what sounds like a great bonus. Good for you!

What advice would you give to Logan?

*name has been changed

 


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In: Featured, Holidays, Office Stuff, The Water Cooler, Watercooler · Tagged: career, career advice, Christmas bonus, Cubicle Confessions, work, work tips

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Comments

  1. Alene says

    November 14, 2013 at 10:06 am

    Congrats on your bonus!!!! I am married and have been for 7 years. We both have been bad with money due to the fact that we got married young and really had to learn on our own. First I would find out what all of our home buying options are. Put the plan into place, set up the account, and cover all details. That way when you tell her about the bonus you are saying…”honey, I got a bonus and have decided to do…this way we are in a home of our own…” then I would suggest some financial classes for the both of us to take so that we could be good stewards with our money. That way she also won’t feel like her downfalls are being targeted. Good luck and many blessings to you!

    Reply
    • The Cubicle Chick says

      November 14, 2013 at 12:04 pm

      Very good advice, Alene. Couldn’t have said it better. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply
    • Jay says

      November 14, 2013 at 4:22 pm

      This is an excellent suggestion, that if executed properly will be beneficial for both partners in the short and the long term. Thank you so much for sharing that insight Alene.

      Reply

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So, I’m doing THING! Join me and the cast of thi So, I’m doing THING! Join me and the cast of this year’s @shesaidstlouis  on Friday, March 10th at The Sheldon. We’ll be sharing our stories monologue style, and it’s going to be a good time. If you’d like to get tickets, hit me up! A portion of the proceeds will go to @rungforwomen. 👍🏾
February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partn February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partnered with @MedIQCME and Duke Health to raise awareness about atrial fibrillation (AFib), also known as irregular heartbeat which affects 12 million people.My father was diagnosed with AFib and my family has a history of this condition, so I do my best to learn as much as I can about it.

I’ve learned that when the atrium’s squeezing becomes irregular, blood doesn’t flow as smoothly through the heart and clots can form. Those clots can travel to the brain, disrupting the oxygen supply and causing a stroke. People with AFib are at approximately 5 times greater risk for stroke than those with regular heartbeats. Stroke is a leading cause of death and also of serious, long-term disability. It is essential to get to a hospital quickly if you suspect a stroke in yourself or others.Learn the acronym FAST to recognize the signs of stroke: 

F = Face. Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?

A = Arms. Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? 

S = Speech. Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is the speech slurred or strange?

T= Time. If you see any of these signs, call 9-1-1 right away.

Take this survey (link in bio) for the chance to win 1 of 5 $100 VISA gift cards—takes less than 10 minutes.

Thanks, @mediqcme, and Duke Heart. Supported by an educational grant from the Bristol Myers Squibb and Pfizer Alliance.
Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time w Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time with roses and a little Stevie Wonder. I could do this all day! 🌹 #traderjoes #flowers #roses #therapy #selfcare
Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is my absolute favorite meal and @louieswinedive in Clayton treated us so well! I will definitely be back. 

#brunch #stl #stlouis #food #stlfoodie #hosted
Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis
A generous heart is always open, always ready to r A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love, we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.” — bell hooks
One more week before she goes back to school for h One more week before she goes back to school for her second semester. Reppin #stl and @seriessixcompany. 

#stlouis #collegekid #stlmade #mykid
Flower arranging has become the self-care I didn’t know I needed. It’s a tranquil and relaxing experience for me. Get into it. 💐 #traderjoes #flowers #therapy #selfcare
It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me toda It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me today as I spent the first day of the year taking care of my mind, body, and soul. It went something like this…. #newyear #selfcare #overforty #fortyish
We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A time was had and memories were made. Grateful that I got some extra days with these guys (thanks Southwest—now run my son back his reimbursement 😂).
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