February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partn February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partnered with @MedIQCME and Duke Health to raise awareness about atrial fibrillation (AFib), also known as irregular heartbeat which affects 12 million people.My father was diagnosed with AFib and my family has a history of this condition, so I do my best to learn as much as I can about it.

I’ve learned that when the atrium’s squeezing becomes irregular, blood doesn’t flow as smoothly through the heart and clots can form. Those clots can travel to the brain, disrupting the oxygen supply and causing a stroke. People with AFib are at approximately 5 times greater risk for stroke than those with regular heartbeats. Stroke is a leading cause of death and also of serious, long-term disability. It is essential to get to a hospital quickly if you suspect a stroke in yourself or others.Learn the acronym FAST to recognize the signs of stroke: 

F = Face. Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?

A = Arms. Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? 

S = Speech. Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is the speech slurred or strange?

T= Time. If you see any of these signs, call 9-1-1 right away.

Take this survey (link in bio) for the chance to win 1 of 5 $100 VISA gift cards—takes less than 10 minutes.

Thanks, @mediqcme, and Duke Heart. Supported by an educational grant from the Bristol Myers Squibb and Pfizer Alliance.
Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time w Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time with roses and a little Stevie Wonder. I could do this all day! 🌹 #traderjoes #flowers #roses #therapy #selfcare
Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is my absolute favorite meal and @louieswinedive in Clayton treated us so well! I will definitely be back. 

#brunch #stl #stlouis #food #stlfoodie #hosted
Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis
A generous heart is always open, always ready to r A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love, we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.” — bell hooks
One more week before she goes back to school for h One more week before she goes back to school for her second semester. Reppin #stl and @seriessixcompany. 

#stlouis #collegekid #stlmade #mykid
Flower arranging has become the self-care I didn’t know I needed. It’s a tranquil and relaxing experience for me. Get into it. 💐 #traderjoes #flowers #therapy #selfcare
It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me toda It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me today as I spent the first day of the year taking care of my mind, body, and soul. It went something like this…. #newyear #selfcare #overforty #fortyish
We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A time was had and memories were made. Grateful that I got some extra days with these guys (thanks Southwest—now run my son back his reimbursement 😂).
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Kids & Parenting, Media Frenzy, Work Life Balance, Working Moms · March 12, 2014

In Our Quest to Validate Working Moms, Are We Alienating Working Dads?


The discussion of having it all and balancing everything that is related to Work/Life Management has become quite a conversation piece as of late. There are hundreds of articles being shared daily on the topic of working moms, our struggle, our worth (both figuratively and literally), and our identity. I find it refreshing that people want to vacillate on the role that working moms play in the office and in the home, and I have utilized my platform here to share stories of the working mom while writing about the good, the bad, and the ugly. But in this engaging conversation, I think we have lost sight of an important part of the working mom puzzle—the working dad.

Which is really a play on words in itself because there aren’t many mentions of working dads in the blogosphere or anywhere else. The term working dad is really a misnomer–because for as long as I can remember, dads are automatically “supposed” to work, therefore, that title isn’t applicable. But in reality, working dads juggle many of the same things working moms do, but we don’t hear that discussed as often as the plight of the working mom.

Case in point, a few weeks ago, I shared a infographic that was created by Salary.com that illustrated exactly how much a working mom is worth. The infographic, entitled What Is A Working Mom Worth, went on to give a dollar amount to assessed to duties that working moms perform during the week. Items included in the graphic included Laundry Operator ($9.95/hr), Janitor ($9.95/hr), and Housekeeper ($10.10/hr). Based on the average salary $40,000+ per year working at a job, and $27,000+ in “overtime” work done at home as a mother totaled an average of $67,436—the dollar amount that working moms are worth.

You know.. cause dads dont do anything. #stereotypes RT @TheCubicleChick: Working moms are worth what? Do you agree? pic.twitter.com/KyDKgnaguN

— Jason Wagner (@threefourteen) February 22, 2014

 

There were two things that troubled me about the graphic. The assertion that you could create a dollar amount to what a working mom contributes yearly is laughable at best. The roles we play in our families is something that a price tag cannot demonstrate nor reflect. And while working moms do a lot on a daily basis, many have assistance from a spouse or partner, who also share in these duties. The graphic doesn’t properly reflect the things that working dads also do in the home as well, which got me to thinking about the media and how messages are delivered to us.

Why, if we were in the Mad Men era, perhaps the infographic would be closer to the truth. Dads during this time were not nearly as active with their parenting as the fathers of today. They worked, came home, drank an alcoholic beverage, fired up a cigar, and read the paper while mom cooked and cleaned and did the laundry, so on and so forth. But in 2014, many dads are working towards a healthier Work/Life management goal that help them be better fathers, husbands, etc. And they roll up their sleeves and get busy, too.

To state that working moms do all of the work in the home may be correct in some cases—but to attribute it across the board isn’t very responsible. Or correct.

I know working dads that cook dinner, grocery shop, take the kids to soccer practice, etc. In this day and age, fathers are more hands-on than ever. So why are we discussing the worth of a working mom when working dads do a lot as well?

In a Work/Life Balance article in Glamour magazine last October, men were polled about how they balance their work and personal lives. The study showed that men want to play a bigger role in their kids’ lives—they long to have more free time from work to spend with them, and even perhaps, be a stay at home dad. I am sure if men were polled 20 years ago, the answers would be completely different. But the media will have you believe that men are still hands-off when it comes to running the home and parenting the children.

WRONG.

I know in my life, my daughter spends a lot of time with her dad. And we co-parent—effectively. We share duties and responsibilities, and as a working dad, he is always there. Sometimes, he is more active than I am when it comes to parenting and how our home runs.

I think we need to examine why we continue to perpetuate the Don Draper School of Fatherhood myth—that moms do it all while dads sit back in the recliner with a scotch and soda. Yes, I am a champion for working moms—I’ve been one for almost 20 years now. But I also understand that, for the better part of that time, I didn’t do it all by myself.

So, let’s get back to the question at hand. In our quest to validate working moms, are we alienating working dads? Shouldn’t their contributions be figured into the working mom puzzle? What’s say you?


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In: Kids & Parenting, Media Frenzy, Work Life Balance, Working Moms · Tagged: career, media, Work Life Balance, Work Life Management, working dads, working moms

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Comments

  1. Ray Washington says

    March 12, 2014 at 10:07 am

    I totally agree that dad’s are being forgotten and at the least devalued to the point of being seen as unnecessary. This contributes in hand with the media play of creating a fatherless AMERICA.

    I was raised by a single mom, and in many ways raised my daughter on my own….but each year I was ashamed when Father’s Day came because you could tell by going out to lunch anywhere that nobody really have a crap about FATHERS. Just keep it real everyone knows after morning worship on MOTHER’S DAY prepare for long table waits vs on Father’s Day you can walk right in as if women received there kids asexually.

    Thanks for this post Danny as you know I’ve always been about changing the game, and my kids will be able to tell a different story about there experience with having a dad (to add one of the hardest working one’s) manning the ship called home.

    Reply
    • The Cubicle Chick says

      March 12, 2014 at 1:46 pm

      Ray, me knowing you personally for years, I know you are an excellent father and father figure for others. Hoping that this discussion continues as we try to shed light on reality, not what the media will have you believe. 🙂

      Reply

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February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partn February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partnered with @MedIQCME and Duke Health to raise awareness about atrial fibrillation (AFib), also known as irregular heartbeat which affects 12 million people.My father was diagnosed with AFib and my family has a history of this condition, so I do my best to learn as much as I can about it.

I’ve learned that when the atrium’s squeezing becomes irregular, blood doesn’t flow as smoothly through the heart and clots can form. Those clots can travel to the brain, disrupting the oxygen supply and causing a stroke. People with AFib are at approximately 5 times greater risk for stroke than those with regular heartbeats. Stroke is a leading cause of death and also of serious, long-term disability. It is essential to get to a hospital quickly if you suspect a stroke in yourself or others.Learn the acronym FAST to recognize the signs of stroke: 

F = Face. Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?

A = Arms. Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? 

S = Speech. Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is the speech slurred or strange?

T= Time. If you see any of these signs, call 9-1-1 right away.

Take this survey (link in bio) for the chance to win 1 of 5 $100 VISA gift cards—takes less than 10 minutes.

Thanks, @mediqcme, and Duke Heart. Supported by an educational grant from the Bristol Myers Squibb and Pfizer Alliance.
Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time w Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time with roses and a little Stevie Wonder. I could do this all day! 🌹 #traderjoes #flowers #roses #therapy #selfcare
Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is my absolute favorite meal and @louieswinedive in Clayton treated us so well! I will definitely be back. 

#brunch #stl #stlouis #food #stlfoodie #hosted
Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis
A generous heart is always open, always ready to r A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love, we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.” — bell hooks
One more week before she goes back to school for h One more week before she goes back to school for her second semester. Reppin #stl and @seriessixcompany. 

#stlouis #collegekid #stlmade #mykid
Flower arranging has become the self-care I didn’t know I needed. It’s a tranquil and relaxing experience for me. Get into it. 💐 #traderjoes #flowers #therapy #selfcare
It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me toda It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me today as I spent the first day of the year taking care of my mind, body, and soul. It went something like this…. #newyear #selfcare #overforty #fortyish
We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A time was had and memories were made. Grateful that I got some extra days with these guys (thanks Southwest—now run my son back his reimbursement 😂).
My family gifted me $250 worth of Sephora gift car My family gifted me $250 worth of Sephora gift cards as one of my Christmas surprises. Take a look at my haul which includes makeup for oily skin and a some faves! #sephora #haul #skin #oilyskin #beautyproducts #overforty #midlifewomen
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