He’s my son, my first born, my joy, my heart, and at sometimes, my pain in the neck! For almost 18 years, my son has been the one constant in my life—I have been a mother longer than I have been anything else, and it just hit me recently that my manchild soon will begin writing his own chapters in the book we call adulthood. Where did the time go?
When he was born in 1994, I wrote in his baby book ‘Class of 2012’. I remember thinking at that time that if we were blessed enough to make it to 2012, it would be a miracle. I was just a baby myself when I brought him into the world, and I had no idea where I was going. I had no plan, I just knew that I was going to try to be the best mom I could be.
He and I fight like cats and dogs. He is spoiled. Sometimes he says things without thinking, things that hurt me. Other times I look at him and I am so proud of the guy standing before me. He towers over me now, he drives, he goes to parties and sometimes comes home later than I think he should. I get scared. Hell, I go bananas when he isn’t where he says he is. No matter his age, he is still my baby boy.
In a few short months, graduation will be upon us. Then summer. And then college. His plan is to go to college in Los Angeles. And while the whole entire notion of this scares the you know what out of me, I know I have to let him fly on his own.
Then, what will I do?
*sighs*
You will miss him, but you will be so proud watching your baby succeed in the world!
You will cry, miss him like crazy and be relieved at the same time knowing that what you have instilled in him is with him always even when it doesn’t appear to. You will feel a great sense of pride when something that you don’t think he paid much attention to he does even without thinking. He will do well.
Do you remember his first day of kindergarten? When you knew that as you sent your baby off to school for the first time you would no longer be the center of his world, that others would be influencing him now? That feeling was repeated when my son (also my first born) went away to college. But you will find out that the strong foundation that you have built for him will give him strength and help him make good decisions in college.
I’m crying for you! I never understood this parental love thing really and truly until I became a mom. I freak out thinking about Lady C going off to college. She’s two by the way. haha
Maaaan, I hear ya!!! Mine is in 7th grade and people keep reminding me that she” be leaving the nest in no time. I, like you, have no idea what I’m supposed to do when that happens! Twiddle my thumbs, perhaps.
Girl you don’t raised you up a grown man! BRAVO! 🙂