February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partn February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partnered with @MedIQCME and Duke Health to raise awareness about atrial fibrillation (AFib), also known as irregular heartbeat which affects 12 million people.My father was diagnosed with AFib and my family has a history of this condition, so I do my best to learn as much as I can about it.

I’ve learned that when the atrium’s squeezing becomes irregular, blood doesn’t flow as smoothly through the heart and clots can form. Those clots can travel to the brain, disrupting the oxygen supply and causing a stroke. People with AFib are at approximately 5 times greater risk for stroke than those with regular heartbeats. Stroke is a leading cause of death and also of serious, long-term disability. It is essential to get to a hospital quickly if you suspect a stroke in yourself or others.Learn the acronym FAST to recognize the signs of stroke: 

F = Face. Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?

A = Arms. Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? 

S = Speech. Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is the speech slurred or strange?

T= Time. If you see any of these signs, call 9-1-1 right away.

Take this survey (link in bio) for the chance to win 1 of 5 $100 VISA gift cards—takes less than 10 minutes.

Thanks, @mediqcme, and Duke Heart. Supported by an educational grant from the Bristol Myers Squibb and Pfizer Alliance.
Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time w Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time with roses and a little Stevie Wonder. I could do this all day! 🌹 #traderjoes #flowers #roses #therapy #selfcare
Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is my absolute favorite meal and @louieswinedive in Clayton treated us so well! I will definitely be back. 

#brunch #stl #stlouis #food #stlfoodie #hosted
Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis
A generous heart is always open, always ready to r A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love, we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.” — bell hooks
One more week before she goes back to school for h One more week before she goes back to school for her second semester. Reppin #stl and @seriessixcompany. 

#stlouis #collegekid #stlmade #mykid
Flower arranging has become the self-care I didn’t know I needed. It’s a tranquil and relaxing experience for me. Get into it. 💐 #traderjoes #flowers #therapy #selfcare
It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me toda It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me today as I spent the first day of the year taking care of my mind, body, and soul. It went something like this…. #newyear #selfcare #overforty #fortyish
We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A time was had and memories were made. Grateful that I got some extra days with these guys (thanks Southwest—now run my son back his reimbursement 😂).
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Boob Tube, Controversy, Kids & Parenting, Working Moms · January 3, 2018

Mamas, Can We Pledge to Have Zero Mom Guilt in 2018?


Can we talk about having zero mom guilt for a second? Because it keeps coming up and I am starting to think this is an epidemic that will never go away.

The very reason why I started TheCubicleChick.com seven plus years ago was because at that time, I didn’t see a lot of websites or blogs focused on working moms. As a HR manager, I saw my share of employees who came into my office stressed out, overworked, and needing some TLC. Most of these were moms that needed support because they were sold a bill of goods—one that said that they could have it all.

Being the bearer of bad news in that role, I had to tell them that having it all was not a realistic concept.

Thus, my site was born, and I began shelling out advice and tips for working mamas who felt a pang in their heart every time they had to go to work and leave their child behind but needed to be fulfilled with something outside of their children and families.

So here the site is, so many years later, still thriving and whatnot. But ever so often, the mom guilt phrase eases it’s way into my inbox or social feeds, or even on television much like it did last during last night’s Blackish.

On said episode, Rainbow, now done with maternity leave, is eager to return to work. Only to have it be a miserable day of mishaps that makes her question if going back to work was a good idea. There’s a scene where her sitter texts her a photo of her baby eating his first Cheerios—and a coworker shows her pity for missing out on this valuable milestone.

Ugh.

Can we talk about having zero mom guilt for a second? Because it keeps coming up and I am starting to think this is an epidemic that will never go away.

This is where I get a little crunk. See, no one discusses Dad Guilt, or asks  if men can have it all, or if dad is missing out on milestones. He gets a pass. And I know as moms we are nurturers and caretakers and child rearers, but we are also more than that. The fact that some moms want to go back to work and want to be fulfilled professionally gets turned into mom guilt and gives some of us a scarlet letter—how dare us! The gall of us wanting to work outside of the home!

Not every stay at home mom is a gold star parent. Not every working mom is a gold star parent. How about we stop subjecting ourselves to blatant assumptions and broad strokes. Most of everything in life is subjective and is on a case-by-case basis.

You can be a good mom who works outside of the home, who shows up, who helps with homework, who cooks dinner, who attends PTA meetings, etc., etc.

No, you can’t have it all, nor should you. But you can choose what brings you happiness.

In Blackish, Bow decides to stay home with her baby after she went back to work and decided she needed more nesting time. I am totally fine with that. But I wish that the show would’ve shown a more realistic interpretation instead.

Working moms work, sometimes because they have no choice. Other times, it is because they refuse to sit on their gifts and talents even though they are someone’s mama.

One mom isn’t better than the other based on if one works outside of the home or not. If there’s one thing I would like us to leave in 2017, it’s Mom Guilt. Stop contributing to the notion that everything about a mom’s life has to revolve around completely around their children. She can have other interests. She can travel without the kids. She can work outside of the home. She can have a social life. Everything ain’t about her motherhood!

I am thankful to have a partner who shares in the parenting, who holds it down for me when I have to work or travel or just participate in self-care, childless. He is quite capable of doing so, and there’s no mom guilt here, thankfully.

What’s say you?


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In: Boob Tube, Controversy, Kids & Parenting, Working Moms · Tagged: Blackish, career, mom-guilt, Rainbow 'Bow' Johnson, working moms

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Comments

  1. Joyce Brewer says

    January 5, 2018 at 7:26 am

    I love most Blackish episodes, but I had an issue with this one. It’s not realistic for most working women even in a 2-income household to extend their maternity leave the way Rainbow did. FMLA only allows for 12 unpaid weeks off. Your job is not guaranteed and your employer may not hold your position until you feel like coming back.

    Reply
  2. CDJ says

    February 1, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    I agree with the previous poster. In a two-income household with other children,..including one in college? There usually isn’t the option of “oh I need more time with my baby”. Its nights of crying, pacing, guilt driven juggling of night feedings and getting caught up on work emails while putting a load of clothes in. I can usually roll with Blackish..but this episode wasn’t realistic to their main viewing audience. Affluent or not.

    Reply

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February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partn February is American Heart Month, and I’ve partnered with @MedIQCME and Duke Health to raise awareness about atrial fibrillation (AFib), also known as irregular heartbeat which affects 12 million people.My father was diagnosed with AFib and my family has a history of this condition, so I do my best to learn as much as I can about it.

I’ve learned that when the atrium’s squeezing becomes irregular, blood doesn’t flow as smoothly through the heart and clots can form. Those clots can travel to the brain, disrupting the oxygen supply and causing a stroke. People with AFib are at approximately 5 times greater risk for stroke than those with regular heartbeats. Stroke is a leading cause of death and also of serious, long-term disability. It is essential to get to a hospital quickly if you suspect a stroke in yourself or others.Learn the acronym FAST to recognize the signs of stroke: 

F = Face. Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?

A = Arms. Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? 

S = Speech. Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is the speech slurred or strange?

T= Time. If you see any of these signs, call 9-1-1 right away.

Take this survey (link in bio) for the chance to win 1 of 5 $100 VISA gift cards—takes less than 10 minutes.

Thanks, @mediqcme, and Duke Heart. Supported by an educational grant from the Bristol Myers Squibb and Pfizer Alliance.
Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time w Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time with roses and a little Stevie Wonder. I could do this all day! 🌹 #traderjoes #flowers #roses #therapy #selfcare
Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is my absolute favorite meal and @louieswinedive in Clayton treated us so well! I will definitely be back. 

#brunch #stl #stlouis #food #stlfoodie #hosted
Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis
A generous heart is always open, always ready to r A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love, we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.” — bell hooks
One more week before she goes back to school for h One more week before she goes back to school for her second semester. Reppin #stl and @seriessixcompany. 

#stlouis #collegekid #stlmade #mykid
Flower arranging has become the self-care I didn’t know I needed. It’s a tranquil and relaxing experience for me. Get into it. 💐 #traderjoes #flowers #therapy #selfcare
It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me toda It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me today as I spent the first day of the year taking care of my mind, body, and soul. It went something like this…. #newyear #selfcare #overforty #fortyish
We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A time was had and memories were made. Grateful that I got some extra days with these guys (thanks Southwest—now run my son back his reimbursement 😂).
My family gifted me $250 worth of Sephora gift car My family gifted me $250 worth of Sephora gift cards as one of my Christmas surprises. Take a look at my haul which includes makeup for oily skin and a some faves! #sephora #haul #skin #oilyskin #beautyproducts #overforty #midlifewomen
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