Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time w Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time with roses and a little Stevie Wonder. I could do this all day! 🌹 #traderjoes #flowers #roses #therapy #selfcare
Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is my absolute favorite meal and @louieswinedive in Clayton treated us so well! I will definitely be back. 

#brunch #stl #stlouis #food #stlfoodie #hosted
Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis
A generous heart is always open, always ready to r A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love, we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.” — bell hooks
One more week before she goes back to school for h One more week before she goes back to school for her second semester. Reppin #stl and @seriessixcompany. 

#stlouis #collegekid #stlmade #mykid
Flower arranging has become the self-care I didn’t know I needed. It’s a tranquil and relaxing experience for me. Get into it. 💐 #traderjoes #flowers #therapy #selfcare
It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me toda It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me today as I spent the first day of the year taking care of my mind, body, and soul. It went something like this…. #newyear #selfcare #overforty #fortyish
We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A time was had and memories were made. Grateful that I got some extra days with these guys (thanks Southwest—now run my son back his reimbursement 😂).
My family gifted me $250 worth of Sephora gift car My family gifted me $250 worth of Sephora gift cards as one of my Christmas surprises. Take a look at my haul which includes makeup for oily skin and a some faves! #sephora #haul #skin #oilyskin #beautyproducts #overforty #midlifewomen
  • Blog
  • About
  • Advertise
  • Legal
  • Contact
  • Media Kit
  • Home
  • About
  • Advertise
  • Contact
  • Media Kit

The Cubicle Chick

Work. Play. Live Your Life to its Fullest Personally & Professionally

  • Home
  • Career
  • Style
  • Family
  • Travel
  • Culture

80's baby, Career, Self Discovery · August 1, 2022

I Was Always The Only Black Girl: My Story


Being the only Black girl growing up in Arizona in the eighties wasn't easy, but it helped me in so many ways become an adaptable adult.
I was in the 4th grade when this photo was taken.

Growing up in Glendale was a memorable and happy experience for the most part. From 1983 to 1990, Arizona was my home. I grew up with a pool in my backyard and my dad used to barbecue on Christmas because it was 80 degrees outside. In some ways it was an idyllic childhood. I had a pretty dope group of friends and we rode our bikes to school because it was within walking distance of our homes. My parents did pretty well financially so there was no shortage of mall trips or fun outings. I went to Great Skate with my friends on the weekends and spent time at the roller rink where I became a weekly fixture.

There was just one thing wrong with this whole setup–I was always the only Black girl.

In third grade, I was the only Black girl in the entire grade at Desert Palms Elementary and there was only one other Black boy who I crushed on hard but never gave me the time of day. In fact, to catch his attention one day, I threw a ball towards him and accidentally hit him in the back of the head. To my surprise, he ran after me and pushed me to the ground because of it. His name was Jason Guinn and I will never forget him because of that.

Being the only Black girl growing up in Arizona in the eighties wasn't easy, but it helped me in so many ways become an adaptable adult.
My school Desert Palms Elementary as it looks now.

In fourth grade, I was still the only Black girl in my grade but there were twins boys who were Black, but they didn’t even last a full school year.

In fifth grade, I was yet again the only Black girl in my entire grade.

What was that like, you may ask?

I think I was the original Awkward Black Girl. Going to slumber parties was always interesting, because I was the only one who slept in a bonnet or tied her hair up at night. When we went swimming and my hair went from smooth and sleek to looking like thick cotton, my friends would always ask me questions, shocked at my follicle transformation.

Let’s not even discuss the fact that making me the only Black girl in most of my interactions with kids my age meant that I wasn’t afforded the same crushes that my friends had. While there were a few cute melanin challenged boys, they never ever thought about me in any other way than the friend girl. The hand holding and couple skating that my group of friends experienced always left me standing on the sidelines, and it would be like this pretty much my entire time living there.

Then it happened.

Finally in sixth grade, there was another Black girl who joined me. Her name was Jackie Yancy and it was love at first sight. Being as how I now had someone else who looked like me, we hit it off well. She was tall and very athletic and we were opposites aesthetically but we were attached at the hip.

Being the only Black girl growing up in Arizona in the eighties wasn't easy, but it helped me in so many ways become an adaptable adult.
Many of my only Black girl weekends were spent at Great Skate.

Jackie introduced me to hip-hop outside of DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince and Salt N Pepa, who were the only rappers I knew at the time because of their mega crossover smash ‘Push It’ was played on KZZP. Enter MC Lyte, LL Cool J, and so many others whom I grew to love. Her parents constantly played Quincy Jones’ ‘On The Block’ album, which gave me a taste of soulful R&B and I had someone that I could really bond with. We became inseparable.

Now there were two Black girls and we were awkward together.

Eventually, we moved away from Arizona, first to Memphis and then to Jacksonville, Florida. There was a lot of culture shock involved with those moves (enter the phrase “you talk like a white girl”), but that is another story for another time.

I became a chameleon.

What I’ve learned over the years is that being the only Black girl (or only one of two Black girls) helped me adapt in sometimes uncomfortable spaces. The bending and stretching that became second nature to me because of my surroundings actually helped me as I transitioned to adult life as a professional working in an office. Previous to the position that I hold now, I was usually still the only Black girl on my team, in my department, and even in the entire workplace.

I mastered the art of “code switching” before I knew what it was.

Being the only Black girl growing up in Arizona in the eighties wasn't easy, but it helped me in so many ways become an adaptable adult.
My old house in AZ and how it looks now on Google Earth.

Put me in the hood and I will thrive there. Put me in an opulent suburb and I will fit right in. Everywhere that I go, I got this. Being young and having to shape-shift helped me pivot and be adaptable in pretty much every situation I’ve been in and I must admit, I am grateful for the childhood I had because it’s helped me as an adult.

But there are many cons to the pros when it comes to being the only Black girl. At times, it was hard to develop myself as an individual. When I was younger, I was always concentrated on blending in and not sticking out because of my color. It was hard for me to define who I was or who I wanted to be. I was way into my adulthood before I got to know the real me and not what I thought others expected of me.

There has to be more of you like me who grew up being the only Black girl, or one of few. We indeed survived and hopefully, without much lasting trauma.

I share my story because I know some of you will be able to relate.

Wanna talk about it?


Related Posts

  • American Girl Unveils New Beforever Doll Melody Ellison

    Just in time for Black History Month, American Girl introduces a new African American Beforever…

  • Black Friday Line Madness

    Here are just a few pictures of our current status while in line for Target's…

  • Finding My Way While Being the Odd One Out: My Untold Story

    As part of the Wells Fargo #MyUntold campaign, I'm discussing growing up in the 80's…

In: 80's baby, Career, Self Discovery · Tagged: 80's, childhood memories, Phoenix

join the cube

You’ll Also Love

If you grew up in the 70s and 80s, this one's for you! Check out my Generation X Guide to Watching YouTube.A Generation X Guide to Watching YouTube
Do you remember must-see TV on NBC or TGIF on ABC? Here are Five Obscure Television Shows from the 80s that I still love to this day.Five Obscure Television Shows From The 80s
The 80's mall experience--what a time to be alive! Walk down memory lane with me as I revisit this magical time in history.Once Upon a Time: Throwback To The 80’s Mall Era

Comments

  1. Terri says

    August 1, 2022 at 2:11 pm

    I’m doing something I haven’t done in a LONG time and commenting here because I am the other “original only black girl” you speak of. While I had a good childhood, I didn’t realize how much being the only one affected me until I reach adulthood. I credit my ability to adapt to that experience frequently, but it’s a lot for any child to spend a majority of their formative years code-switching even if they don’t realize it at the time. My experience and that of other “only ones” is something I definitely want to write about more. Thanks for sharing your experience.

    Reply
    • The Cubicle Chick says

      August 1, 2022 at 6:45 pm

      Hi Terri. I’ve been speaking about my childhood experience as the only Black girl more and more because I’ve been finding that other Black women have gone through similar things. I used to feel like what I went through was unique to me, but there are many of us who are reflecting on our childhood and all that came with be the “only” one or one of few. It’s a gift and a curse at times, but I am thankful that I came out of it with a strong sense of self and the ability to be adaptable even when it wasn’t easy to do so. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Next Post >

Once Upon a Time: Throwback To The 80’s Mall Era

Advertisement


Hi there! I'm Danyelle Little, a St. Louis blogger, mom & and empty-nester. This site is for those of you who like to get the best out of both worlds-personally and professionally. Learn more about me HERE!

Buy My New Holiday Novel

join the cube

Recent Posts

  • 15 Movies That Showcase Sisterhood
  • A Generation X Guide to Watching YouTube
  • 10 Timeless and Inspiring Barbara Walters Quotes
  • I Like Big Naps and I Cannot Lie
  • The Year of Strength: What 2022 Taught Me

The Cube on Facebook

Reader Favorites

Checkout my NEW podcast

Listen on Spotify
Listen on Apple Podcasts
Listen on Google Podcasts

Affiliate

Perdue Farms Special Offer

trending now

Load More Posts

instagram

Follow @thecubiclechick

Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time w Another flower arranging therapy Reel, this time with roses and a little Stevie Wonder. I could do this all day! 🌹 #traderjoes #flowers #roses #therapy #selfcare
Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is Mimosas, beignets, and Benedicts, oh my! Brunch is my absolute favorite meal and @louieswinedive in Clayton treated us so well! I will definitely be back. 

#brunch #stl #stlouis #food #stlfoodie #hosted
Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis Brunch vibes. #latergram #brunch #stl #stlouis
A generous heart is always open, always ready to r A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love, we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.” — bell hooks
One more week before she goes back to school for h One more week before she goes back to school for her second semester. Reppin #stl and @seriessixcompany. 

#stlouis #collegekid #stlmade #mykid
Flower arranging has become the self-care I didn’t know I needed. It’s a tranquil and relaxing experience for me. Get into it. 💐 #traderjoes #flowers #therapy #selfcare
It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me toda It was about a mellow mood & self-care for me today as I spent the first day of the year taking care of my mind, body, and soul. It went something like this…. #newyear #selfcare #overforty #fortyish
We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A We made it a family night at @stlouiswheelpark. A time was had and memories were made. Grateful that I got some extra days with these guys (thanks Southwest—now run my son back his reimbursement 😂).
My family gifted me $250 worth of Sephora gift car My family gifted me $250 worth of Sephora gift cards as one of my Christmas surprises. Take a look at my haul which includes makeup for oily skin and a some faves! #sephora #haul #skin #oilyskin #beautyproducts #overforty #midlifewomen
It’s #giveaway time! Enter to win 2 silk pillowc It’s #giveaway time! Enter to win 2 silk pillowcases from @celestialsilk made of 100% mulberry silk. Sleep better in the new year and take care of you! Entry detail link in bio. #selfcare #sleeping #newyear #review
Follow on Instagram

Work With Me

  • Advertise
  • Contact
  • Media Kit

join the cube

Site Info

  • Privacy Policy
  • Legal
  • Site Disclosure

Copyright © 2023 The Cubicle Chick · Theme by 17th Avenue