I don’t have many girlfriends that I am super close with. I guess you would say I am a one woman show, although I have a few women that I hang out with and consider good friends. But while speaking with a relative of mine about a situation she is presently going through with a so-called friend, it got me to thinking: what happens when a close friend of yours is jealous of you?
Jealousy can happen to the best of us. Maybe we see someone else living the type of life we would like to lead which makes us a little envious. Maybe a friend has a better car than you or a better relationship with her significant other which causes you to be jealous of what she has. Whatever the situation, jealousy is a normal emotion when kept in check. But when not in check, it can make a bad situation worse.
The movie Single White Female is a classic jealous situation gone horribly awry. Also the flick The Hand That Rocks The Cradle represents jealousy to the umpteenth degree. In both movies, women became jealous and horribly obessed with women who lived the type of lives they wanted to lead.
Jealousy unchecked can be unhealthy.
So what to do if there is a jealous girl in your life? Here are a few tips that could help defuse the situation:
- Be Honest- Pull her aside and speak with her about the situation. If she is a real friend, it is worth asking the tough questions even if it is awkward and uncomfortable, may salvage the relationship. Not speaking about the situation only makes it worse.
- Pay Attention– Notice things that may not be on the up and up. How does she speak about you to others? How does she respond to you? Jealousy is an emotion that can quickly turn negative, so act quickly and notice the signs.
- Copy Cat Itis?– If your friend is showing signs of jealousy like copying you, trying to look like you, etc., this is not a good sign. Cut your losses and end the friendship if need be.
- Give It Up & Turn It Loose- If your jealous friend is going off on the deep end and no longer fun to be with, it may be time to let her go. Jealousy is a hard thing to deal with, so if she continues to act in an envious fashion let go of the friendship.
Being jealous is often a sign of insecurity and if not resolved, never has a good ending. Look at your circle closely, pay attention, and notice the signs. If there is a jealous girl in your clique, defuse the situation before it gets worse, or better yet, let her go. Be smart and be careful.
There are always going to be people who have the type of job you’d like to have, the type of home you’d like to have or who you think have the type of relationship you’d like to have; but being jealous is a waste of time & energy. People always have things going on that you don’t know about. No matter how pretty or wealthy someone is, there’s always another side. I had a former friend accuse me of being jealous of her b/c I didn’t do something that she thought I should have done. My response was 1) you’ve lost your mind 2) I am not jealous of ANYONE and 3) I know you too well to EVER be jealous of you. To the outside observer she may have had it going on, but I knew the real and there was no cause for me to be jealous. Just as being jealous can be a sign of insecurity, so can having an unfounded belief that people are jealous of you.