While flipping through the channels on my boob tube, I came across a show last night called ‘Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry’, a docu-drama esque show on Discovery ID that talks about women being married to men they didn’t really know. In this ongoing series, it turns out that these husbands ended up being bigamists. serial killers, and in one case, the husband was a woman. It got me to thinking, how can you marry someone that you really don’t know? And even more, how can one go years married to someone and truly not know who they really are?
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. And in this day and age, people do not take it seriously. Getting married because you love someone is not reason enough to get married—getting married because you love someone, you respect them, you like them, you cannot see yourself being without them, AND you can see yourself being married to them for the rest of your lives—well those are reasons to get married.
Some of us rush into the whole married thing without getting to know the person we are marrying. I know when I got married, we dated one another for a year after knowing one another for two years, and then was engaged for three years before jumping the broom. Now I know three years may be a long time to be engaged, but for me, I wanted to really know the man I was marrying. I didn’t want any surprises.
And I am not saying that one needs a long engagement in order to truly get to know someone. If someone wants to hide their true selves from you, they most certainly can. But I also think that it is the person they are hiding things from that allows this behavior. For instance, there are often signs that are not looked at closely. These signs are ignored because we think that we can change someone or it will “just go away”. But those signs are there for a reason. Take the warning before its too late.
I pity these women who have these tales of men who led double lives while they were married. But I also blame them for not heeding the warnings. A man who has three wives, well I am sure there were signs that things were not right. Did he stay gone a lot? Was he not reachable by phone? Were there things that just didn’t add up? Have you not met his family?
There are way too many cases of ‘Who the Bleep Did I Marry’, which may be one reason why the divorce rate is so high. We must take the time to truly get to know our mates before we pledge our lives to them.
Did you watch ‘Who the Bleep Did I Marry’? What are your thoughts on marriage and relationships and the whole “fools rush in” mentality? Comment below!
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