This weekend while reading my friend Robyn’s blog, I came across a post she wrote about the movie Black Swan. The post was called, ‘Are you a Black Swan or a White Swan?’ and included a “personality” type of test you could complete online. I joked with her that I was a “white swan trapped in a black swan’s body” but I wasn’t being funny when I said it—I truly feel that I am perceived by others as being bold, headstrong, opinionated, and bossy, qualities that the Black Swan definitely holds.
For me, I know I am all these things, but I also have plenty of White Swan qualities as well. I am very giving and generous and loyal to my friends. I can also be quiet and shy and introverted—most people don’t see me this way because I am usually the loud one at the party, but there are parts of me that are reserved and to myself.
All of this got me to thinking how we are perceived by others isn’t always how we perceive ourselves. Of course our judgment of ourselves can be a bit cloudy and convoluted because many of us don’t like to point out our less than stellar qualities. But I also think that the way you carry yourself can cause others to judge you quickly before they even get to really know you.
When I walk into a room, my head is held high. I am strong with my eye contact and handshakes. I am not a wallflower—people perceive this to be a brash, no nonsense woman, but I am far from that. I am not always sure of myself but you would never see that in public. I come from the school where you never let ’em see you sweat—I will never let anyone know they’ve gotten the best of me even when they have.
I hate to use the word swag so I will say this—-my aura is quite dominant; but I’m a softy!
If people went by their perceptions of me instead of really getting to know me, my assertiveness could turn them off. But at the end of the day, I can only be me.
I can’t water me down.
How do others perceive you? And are their perceptions on point or are they incorrect in your eyes? Can you change the way you are perceived by others? Let’s discuss!
Photo credit: Happy Black Woman