My Personal Hiatus and Autumn Midlife Musings

Kiss me, out of the bearded barleyNightly, beside the green, green grassSwing, swing, (swing, swing) swing the spinning stepYou wear those shoes and I will wear that dress

Are you familiar with ‘Kiss Me’ from Sixpence None the Richer? Released in August 1997 with its melodic structure, ultra smooth almost tranquil vocals, and rockabilly/folksong-ish beat, it reminds me of fall. When I hear this song, I see falling orange and brown leaves with hints of yellow and brown in 65-degree weather, ushering in a pair of my favorite riding boots and an oversized heather gray sweater that hangs just perfectly off of my shoulder.

Autumn is one of my favorite seasons and times of the year, only second behind the holiday magic of Christmas. The midwest weather is perfect, the pumpkin and apple picking activities make me delight with glee, and I begin nesting in my home, decorating, and completing projects around my house. I get super creative in the fall as well–I wrote my first novel last year in autumn.

For me, this time of year brings me epiphanies, euphoria, and a sense of purpose.

It feels like home. Autumn feels like love.

Oh, kiss me, beneath the milky twilightLead me out on the moonlit floorLift your open handStrike up the band and make the fireflies danceSilver moon’s sparklingSo kiss me

It’s a little different this year, as this is the first autumn season that I am a complete empty nester. For years, I surrounded myself with my kiddos apple and pumpkin picking, Halloween costuming, and other seasonal activities. My kids no longer live here, and I find myself with so much time on my hands, longing for our traditional fall fare.

Then, I find myself thinking that I can begin to create my own fall traditions as an empty nester. This is my new beginning and my new journey being completely on my own.

September found me in a place of loneliness after my daughter moved to New York for her freshman year in college. What do you do with yourself when all of your adult life has been filled with raising two kids? How do you fill that void? How do you move on?

I didn’t blog for thirty days signaling a hiatus of sorts. It wasn’t planned, but it was needed and now, I am feeling more like myself again. I can now positively answer the question when people ask me how I am doing in my new mid-life mama of two adults phase. I don’t wince anymore, or try to fill it with sarcasm. I can be honest and answer with an “I’m taking it one day at a time” type of retort.

Life doesn’t necessarily get easier when your kids are grown and flown–it becomes more open, freer, and more about you. I am learning that it is okay for it to be just all about me without having someone else to center my attention on.

When I go into the office two days a week, I no longer have to rush home because my daughter has an event or concert at school. I can freestyle dinner and perhaps eat grapes if I want to because I didn’t get hungry until 8 pm.

It’s an interesting time and I am going to make sure to get the most out of it.

Now that I am back from my self-proposed hiatus, I am ready to get back to the business of blogging and documenting my life during this most interesting phase. I will finally be releasing more vlogs that many of you have been asking about, so you’ll be seeing them in the very new future. I promise this time, the vlog series is going to be a thing.

I also have a new pop culture podcast about the 70s hit sitcom ‘Good Times’ called ‘Scratchin’ & Surviving- A Podcast About Good Times’. I am four episodes in, and I would love it if you’d listen.