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The Cubicle Chick

Career | Midlife | Style

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On A Personal Note · April 7, 2011

Perception is 9/10ths of the rule: How are you perceived?


This weekend while reading my friend Robyn’s blog, I came across a post she wrote about the movie Black Swan. The post was called, ‘Are you a Black Swan or a White Swan?’ and included a “personality” type of test you could complete online. I joked with her that I was a “white swan trapped in a black swan’s body” but I wasn’t being funny when I said it—I truly feel that I am perceived by others as being bold, headstrong, opinionated, and bossy, qualities that the Black Swan definitely holds.

For me, I know I am all these things, but I also have plenty of White Swan qualities as well. I am very giving and generous and loyal to my friends. I can also be quiet and shy and introverted—most people don’t see me this way because I am usually the loud one at the party, but there are parts of me that are reserved and to myself.

All of this got me to thinking how we are perceived by others isn’t always how we perceive ourselves. Of course our judgment of ourselves can be a bit cloudy and convoluted because many of us don’t like to point out our less than stellar qualities. But I also think that the way you carry yourself can cause others to judge you quickly before they even get to really know you.

When I walk into a room, my head is held high. I am strong with my eye contact and handshakes. I am not a wallflower—people perceive this to be a brash, no nonsense woman, but I am far from that. I am not always sure of myself but you would never see that in public. I come from the school where you never let ’em see you sweat—I will never let anyone know they’ve gotten the best of me even when they have.

I hate to use the word swag so I will say this—-my aura is quite dominant; but I’m a softy!

If people went by their perceptions of me instead of really getting to know me, my assertiveness could turn them off. But at the end of the day, I can only be me.

I can’t water me down.

How do others perceive you? And are their perceptions on point or are they incorrect in your eyes? Can you change the way you are perceived by others? Let’s discuss!

Photo credit: Happy Black Woman


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In: On A Personal Note · Tagged: Friendships, perceptions, personal, personality, Relationships

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Comments

  1. TS Redmond Mize says

    April 7, 2011 at 9:00 am

    Man, I don’t know how others perceive me! LOL

    I do however find myself quite often, sitting at my computer, reading things people say about me thinking, “Who? Me? Why..I just..that’s just what you’re supposed to do, isn’t it?” 😀

    Reply
    • The Cubicle Chick says

      April 7, 2011 at 10:51 am

      Tori, from what I see, I perceive you as sharp lady that knows how to speak your mind 🙂

      Reply
  2. Robyn Wright says

    April 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    This sort of touches on what I was talking about with my therapist today actually. There is a part of me that has this logical wall that goes up when I feel the need to be protected. Generally I talk really fast when this happens. The wall goes up because I want to stay in control of feelings. However, I am at the point in my life now that I want to feel those feelings. It is all very odd and complicated. I know that I apparently used to come across as a rich bitch in high school (I have NO idea why honestly), but apparently I have mellowed because I don’t get that these days. Even though I may be very nervous someplace though I do walk up to others or join in, etc. and can be quite loud – it’s just all me though.

    Ok – now I’m rambling just like I did at therapy today LOL

    Reply
  3. Tammy Matthews says

    April 8, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Jill,
    Great points. I’m pretty sure people don’t persieve me as who I really am. I picture myself walking into a store – My head is high and I walk in like I know I belong. But on the inside I’m scared to death that someone is going to find a way to hurt me.

    The real me is a beautiful person who loves other people deeply and I love helping others.

    Never thought of it like this. I’d say I probably come off an unapproachable and that’s NOT what I want.

    Thanks for the post – gives me something to definately think about.
    Tammy

    Reply
  4. TS Redmond Mize says

    April 8, 2011 at 11:06 am

    Oh, I hope I’m as smart as everyone seems to think. LOL Like I said, sometimes it is a bit hard to get used to the compliments- as the above poster said, that’s an issue for the ol’ talky couch. The way I grew up…man, well, I think I can get used to the praise.

    Reply
  5. Holly says

    April 8, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    Great topic! It is really interesting to get to know someone especially when you have one idea of what they are like and then when you get to know them you find out what they are really like or what they see themselves as. I have been told that I am intimidating,(I stand over 5′ 10″ and hold myself tall becasue I love being tall), I don’t feel I am really like that, on certain subjects perhaps. I have been at workshops where we get to tell others about ourselves and one time I was so emotional that I cried as I spoke, you have no idea how many people came up to me afterwards and told me they had no idea I was like that! We can fool people and perhpas we can fool ourselves, but in the end it really is so much a part of the journey to see what we do become.

    Reply
  6. Mike D says

    April 22, 2011 at 7:03 am

    I am perceived as arrogant…..But guess what…..I DON’T CARE…lol

    Reply

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She only doing what she know… 🏁 #grandnationa She only doing what she know… 🏁 #grandnationaltour #stl
MAY tings… MAY tings…
A rooftop situation is always a good idea! Recentl A rooftop situation is always a good idea! Recently, I was invited to a Happy Hour of bites and beats at @angadartshotel’s @artbar.stl and when I say the food, drinks, and the vibe were necessary during these stressful times. I see another visit soon in my future. Cheers! 🥂
April photo dump. And things of that nature. ✨✨
Are we twinning or nah? 😂😂😂 Are we twinning or nah? 😂😂😂
4/10 should be declared a national holiday because 4/10 should be declared a national holiday because on this day a king was born! Happy birthday, son. Love you more than words can say! 🎉🎉🎉
May we continue to have crazy/fun adventures toget May we continue to have crazy/fun adventures together. You deserve an overflow of serendipity, and all the joy I can provide. Still celebrating—Happy Birthday, Mommy! 🎉🎉🎉
Worked hard all week so we deserved a little treat Worked hard all week so we deserved a little treat. ✌🏾
My novel ‘A Clermont Lane Wedding’ is certainl My novel ‘A Clermont Lane Wedding’ is certainly not biographical, but there are traces of my life all up and down this book (hint hint). It’s a perfect Spring Break read!

It’s got romance, intrigue, a little mystery, and a family legacy on the line. On sale on Amazon, eBooks and paperback, link in bio.
The miracle of being a WOMAN. A life giver. A soul The miracle of being a WOMAN. A life giver. A soul nurturer. A blessing. ✨
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