Yes, I brought out my bitchiness in the title of the post but I mean it in the most sincere way. The subject of this post came to me while having a conversation with a male friend. He was telling me about a girl he went to high school with who was the prettiest girl in his graduating class. Every boy wanted to be her boyfriend and had many a wet dream about her. She was Coke bottle shaped (according to him) with a pleasant smile, long real hair (his description, not mine), and “fine as wine”. What’s the point? Well, he ran into her a few weeks ago, and my have things changed.
He said that she still looks good, but isn’t as beautiful as he remembered. I did mention to him that as he has matured, his tastes have probably changed—he agreed. He said he noticed her instantly and remembered her. She was maybe a few pounds heavier, but still was attractive. Still had that gorgeous smile.
My friend told me that after he approached her and reminded her who he was, they chatted a bit, but something was off about her. She was snobbish, cool, and rather unpleasant to talk to. He said he couldn’t put his finger on it, but said that the way she acted made her look unattractive.
“She was a 10 back in the day but she’s a 7 right now thinking she’s still a 10. I know a bunch of broads that make her look regular,” he said.
Hateration? Maybe. But I think he is onto something. There are plenty of women who were IT back in the day who think they still are IT—little do they know, there are plenty of women who are considered more attractive.
If you are only your looks and faded pictures of what you used to look like, that isn’t saying much.
My grandmother got me straight plenty early. When I was 14, I would visit St. Louis from Florida and I made all the boys turn their heads in the neighborhood. I thought I was everythang, okay? And she told me, “There is always someone prettier than you.”
It stung, but it was true. There is always someone out there who is prettier, smarter, taller, skinnier, more awesome than you. If you base yourself off of just looks and no substance, then you learn this lesson the hard way. One day you look in the mirror and see one more wrinkle that you didn’t have before. Or maybe those jeans fit tighter than they used to. Or maybe your smile isn’t as bright as it used to be.
Whatever the case, be happy with who you are on the inside, and it will naturally show on the outside. Or you can be like the woman above, age 40, thinking she still has it going on when in reality, her time may have come and gone.
This is so funny. I recently had a convo with an unrequited childhood love and he told me why he chose the other girl instead of me – and then went on to talk about how she collapsed into non-cuteness while I blossomed. LOL. Life is funny that way.
Welp – he can kick rox now because hubby ALWAYS found me to be Gawgus
LOL at on-cuteness. Aint that how it always is. Men usually end up picking shallowness over substance, and it usually comes back to bite them in the foot afterwards. Thanks for commenting.
The Cubicle Chick I don’t think men fall for the shallow over substance. I think “GOOD MEN” are attracted to confident women. Women who are less confident, perceive confidences as arrogance or shallowness.
First of all, I absolutely love the image you used for this post! 🙂
Secondly, I learned this a long time ago but like you said, many people (men and women) haven’t and are long overdue for this lesson! LOL
~K
Yes, that photo is slamming! I love posting images of women of all hues.
I have to be honest I find this post quite questionable. I am a pretty women, who was a pretty girl. I would never go around thinking about if someone was more attractive than me. THATS JUST CRAZY considering beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The comment “There is someone more pretty that you” To me only an insecure person would say such a thing. I should mentioned my mother had made the exact same comment to me. If you notice, it didn’t affect my self esteem.
Regarding your friend, I suspect the young ladies behavior or attitude toward him may have been do to his demeanor. Sounds like he may have been a bit anxious to have seen her again. That maybe what prompted her snobby behavior.
Hey Fashionista Chic, interesting perspective. I took this post in a different light, one where people, especially women, base their self-worth on their looks – which changes – and they end up with a negative self-image and thus self-worth.
There’s nothing wrong with a healthy self-image like you have and knowing that one is not the end all to be all and understanding that there is always someone more [fill in the blank] is healthy. You’re right – beauty is in the eye of the beholder which begs the question of beauty overall.
I think where it hurts someone’s self-esteem is if they did exactly what you said – walk around thinking everybody else is better than they are. Not healthy at all.
I think Danyelle was portraying the idea that we should be who we are, confident with ourselves without regard to what or who else we see around us because there is always… 🙂
~Kesha
I am having a challenging reconciling what you are saying. See the thing is I don’t concern myself with if someone is pretty than me, richer than me or more fortunate than I. Here let me explain. I am a bit of a Narcissist but sister that is about me! I love me to the fullest. You know what Kesha I am good a person. My heart is the cleanest heart you will ever see. But I have had unpleasant experiences with others who look at me like, “She thinks she better” “She thinks she smarter.” Honest, at time because I am human it hurts my heart. Then my intellect kicks in, I know they feel this way cause my confidence and presents intimidates them. It’s not about me, its more about them. Again Kesha I am the kind of women who will give you my shirt off my back but am judged because I love myself. Let me be clear because I love myself and think that I am everything, doesn’t mean my opinion of others is less than. So I don’t go around thinking someones prettier because I don’t judge others that way. I only judge myself. Kesha I appreciate the acknowledgement of my comment.
Thanks for commenting. As with all of my posts on my blog, this is merely my opinion as it relates to a conversation I had with a friend. As Kesha said, it was more about what you are on the inside that makes you beautiful. I happen to think I am a very attractive mother of two, hardly insecure at all. I am glad that my grandmother at a young age had me not believing my own hype by telling me that. And this is from a woman who herself, at 74, is still a knock out 🙂
Yes the inner is about substance. My line of business is creating amazing wardrobes for women, the premise is when you look good you feel good, you’ll then navigating through life with confidence and vigor.Let me tell you Cubicle chick the confidence and vigor can be contagious. I can’t tell you the lives I’ve changes by tweaking the outside which penetrates to the inside. When mommy feels good, dad’s happy and the kids are well adjusted.
BTW I have to be brutally honest. I saw a picture of a beauty black women with the head lines, “There is someone always prettier than you.” Kinda rubbed me the wrong way. My apologies if I offended but my reaction was honest.
Your grandmother was nice about it … my mother said to me “you’re not the only one with a vagina” 😐 *shuts piano down it’s time to go home*
I don’t see me saying exactly THAT to any child of mine, or telling her what your grandmother said either, but I get their point. It didn’t change my self-view {I’m still the glamorous business}, but it did give me a perspective in a strange way. The funny thing is most guys I speak to from high school comment on how I am “still as {fill in the blank, typically with beautiful or funny} as I was in high school” so I think that’s a good sign 🙂
There’s always someone prettier than you…and here I am. How you doin! That’s the tude I’m gonna give when it comes to this depreciating comment.
Also, if there’s someone prettier than her than there’s someone prettier than that girl and so on and so on and so on. The only way this is possible is if there are an infinite amount of women in the world and that is obviously not the case which is also why this saying is flawed. There is no such thing as the pretty woman in the world.
I don’t believe beauty is subjective because there are measurable unattractive people and measurable attractive people, but when several women are beautiful, then it becomes subjective among those beautiful people.
There is nothing wrong with the girl he ran into. I think it is a positive thing that she still though she was the shit! How else should she have acted? Should she have been sad or meek because she was no longer as beautiful as she once was? NO!
I think the intention was there for the post but there are some points I would change. Still, at the end of the day, if you only judge your self-worth based on your looks there is bound to be trouble for you later in life. 🙁