It’s almost time, gals! Hallmark Christmas movies are the cornerstone of many of our existences during this time of year, and as of October 25th, we will be glued to the front of our TVs and devices to get our yearly fix.
Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas gives us just enough to wet our appetites with a Hallmark Christmas movie airing every Friday for our viewing pleasure, a prequel if you will. But with the onslaught of All-Holiday-Movie-Everything on the beloved network, (and 40 new and original Hallmark Christmas movies), we are going to be decking the halls aplenty.
If you are a fan of Hallmark Christmas movies (and I just know that you are), I’ve written a complete guide to the Five Stages of Hallmark Christmas Movie Season, so that we can relax, relate, and release ourselves while Hallmark serves up their holiday movie magic.
Stage #1: Denial
We hear the jokes and the snickers and sneers. Some folk don’t get why we love Hallmark Christmas movies so, and that leads to us being a laughing stock of sorts amongst some of our much too serious friends and family members. They say things like “why do you watch those terrible movies?” and “they all end the same way”, and we shrug it off and try not to take the judgment too harshly while becoming defensive and stressed out.
The denial phase is the second-worst stage, but the good thing about it is that it comes to an end rather quickly. Once we begin seeing the teasers for the films and list of visual goodies coming our way, we quickly forget about the ridicule we often face. This leads to this next stage…
Stage #2: Acceptance and Excitement
Despite being made fun of relentlessly, it no longer matters what the naysayers say about you. You are now fully invested into Hallmark’s holiday movie offerings. You’ve seen the list of movies, and you’ve checked your guide and have the DVR set for the ones you want to record. You may have even bought a new furry blanket just to snuggle while watching.
You don’t stop there, though. You’ve put new batteries in the remote, planned out your snack and menus, purchased some merch, and now you are ready. So what if they talk about you?
Stage #3: Obsession
Now that the Hallmark Christmas Movies Marathon is in full swing, your devotion to it cannot be stopped. You Google the film titles so that you can get more information on the movie and its players, and your Facebook and Twitter feeds are filled with your observations about the movies. You cancel dates and dinners to watch them, and other than the morning news, or an episode of This Is Us, you pretty much don’t watch anything else.
You even plan watch parties in your home, where you all dress in loungewear, drink Rose’, and comment on how fine Jesse Metcalfe is, or how much you all still love Kelly Pickler’s voice.
Stage #4: Oversharing
Not only have you been put on snooze on Facebook during this period by several of your friends who think that you share too much about your penchant for Hallmark Christmas movies, but now its spilled over to the workplace. You spend your breaks and time at the copier talking about the movies with the one or two other people in the office who are also fans of the films. At the PTA meeting, instead of sharing how much the bake sale raised, you got into a heated argument with another mom over if there needs to be another Christmas in Evergreen movie.
People at work no longer ask you how you are doing because they are afraid you are going to share your list of your 10 most favorite Hallmark holiday movies, so they avoid you like the plague. You, my friend, are knee-deep in the oversharing stage. Which brings us to…
Stage #5: Sadness and Mourning
This is the worst stage of them all, I’m afraid. The New Year festivities are over, and it’s time for Hallmark to get back to “regular” programming. You knew this time would come, but it is never easy. In fact, it gets harder every year. This is the time to seek comfort and solace from friends who are also going through this stage. Doing so will help you get through.
It’s a hard knock life for us when the Hallmark Christmas movie season is over, but we have something to look forward to–the next installment. With your DVR collection and a song in your heart, you will get through this. I promise you, you will.
[…] We know, we know. Hallmark Christmas movies are often lauded as fluffy pieces of non-art that all have the same ending with the same people and […]