The Monkey On My Back is My Weight

…and I was doing so good. This spring, I lost almost 30 lbs by watching what I ate and exercising. I felt better and had more energy. I was sharper on my toes and slept better at night. All was going well.

And then summer crept up and I gained it all back.

My summer was a crazy one. I reverted back to my old habits due to the fact that I was attending so many events, it was hard to stay on my eating regimen. I went back to drinking sodas, eating after 8pm, all of the things that I swore I wouldn’t do.

No excuses. I was dedicated and fell off the effing wagon. There, I said it.

Last night while doing my hair, I took a look at myself in the mirror and felt so disgusted with myself. I immediately stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained back 27 pounds. Not that I didn’t know that already, but the nymber staring back at me didn’t lie.

So here I go again.

I’ve conquered everything in my life that I set out to do. Everything that is, except for my weight. That is one cross that I bear everyday. I’ve gained then lost then gained then lost. I wish I could get off of this merry-go-round.

No more excuses, no more pity parties. I am going to beat this.

My goal is to lose between 30-40 lbs. Slowly, gradually, and with my health in mind. I will continue to blog about it here because maybe there is someone reading this that wants to lose weight too and has struggled just like I have with keeping it off.

Losing the weight has never been a problem for me—it’s keeping it off.

It’s a lifestyle change I have failed to make over and over again.

Maybe this time. I will do it. Finally.

This pic was taken in Chicago last week