This Valentine’s Day is going to be a little different for me. For years, I’ve been focused on flowers and candy and vacations and trips and sex and lingerie and romance. All of that is cool. Having someone that you love and who loves you is indeed a gift and a blessing. Having someone to have and to hold on Valentine’s Day is equally amazing. But it isn’t everything. I finally understand and get that now.
The most important relationship you can have is with yourself. It is this relationship that helps form and shape and inspire the relationships that you have with others. If Valentine’s Day is a day of love, then it should be a day for us to focus loving ourselves, too.
Self love is self care—the way we treat ourselves is a direct reflection of how we treat others. How we pour into others. How we show up for others. Loving ourselves in our truest and realest form helps us better love, serve, and nurture those around us.
While I am thankful for the Valentine’s Day texts, cards, gifts, flowers, and such, the best Valentine’s Day gift that I will gift will come from me. I will love myself more, I will allow myself to be freer and more transparent, I will allow myself peace and caring and understanding. I will allow myself to be broken so that I can work to fix that places and spaces of myself that need to be fixed.
This Valentine’s Day, I am focused on me. I deserve that.
The better that I can love myself, the better I can love the love of my life. The better I can love my kids and family members and friends and colleagues. In order to receive love from others, we must first receive love from ourselves.
Below are some Self Love is Self Care rules that I will be following for Valentine’s Day, and for many days afterwards:
- I will replace every negative thought I have with a positive one.
- I will speak only good things upon myself.
- I will accept compliments without shrinking or denying them.
- I will put my best foot forward every day.
- I will love myself.
- I will take time out for me on a regular basis.
- I will abandon relationships that make me feel bad or don’t have my best interests at heart.
How can you share self love on Valentine’s Day (or any day for that matter)? Here are a few ideas:
Cue the bath bombs and candles—set the mood. Draw yourself a good old fashion bath and pour in a little essential oils to help relax you. Allow yourself to soak and decompress, exhaling the old, negative thoughts, and inhaling new positive thoughts. Pour a glass of wine and sip slow as the fragrance of the bubbles and essential oils take you to another place mentally. You deserve it.
A YOU Celebration Playlist
While in the bath, cue up your own Self Love playlist full of all of the songs that celebrate YOU and the love that you have for yourself. Select songs that make you happy, take you to another place, make you dream in full color, and get your hyped. Play it often for the most effectiveness.
A Love Letter to Yourself
Sit down and write a love letter to yourself. List all of the dope things you love about being you—then put in away somewhere and pull it out whenever you need some good love, or something to encourage you.
Let’s love ourselves and each other 365 days a year, not just on Valentine’s Day. This love will get us through anything!