Each week, I will take on the challenge of recapping the 14th season of NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice for your pure amusement. Read at your own risk.
During last week’s Celebrity Apprentice Recap, I told you that the “fur would be flying” this week according to the preview of this episode. And boy, was I right. I read about the beef stirring between RHOA castmate Kenya Moore and actress Vivica Fox on gossip sites several months ago. Let’s just say that tabloid fodder can be accurate at times.
Let’s get to tonight’s hell of an episode, appropriately titled #Phonegate.
This week’s episode began where last week’s left off. Kenya, Geraldo, and a visibly upset Vivica returned to the Trump player quarters. Kenya tried to let bygones be bygones by sharing a toast with Vivica, but it was all for show. We know how Kenya gets down.
The teams are briefed on their next challenge; to come up with a social media campaign for King’s Hawaiian that utilizes a viral hashtag and photobomb implementing the product. Team Infinity (Brandi, Leeza, Ian, and Johnny) select Johnny as the Project Manager. Team Vortex (Geraldo, Kenya, and Vivica) select Kenya as their PM.
Once in their war rooms, they been strategizing; Infinity feels that photos atop from a skyscraper or high building in Manhattan would work best for this task. Then Ian ups the ante and says he can get a helicopter in which to shoot pictures of the buildings and Big Apple landscape. He feels this will secure him if they end up losing.
Kenya takes the bull by the horns and begins to describe a campaign that is campy and rather provocative; using the King’s Hawaiian rolls on the backsides of women. “Baby got buns”.
Yeah, that is so appropriate.
They then go out to shoot the campaign using models they see on the street. Vivica offers to be a model, and to that, Kenya scoffs that their models need to be of a slim build. Ouch.
Geraldo then urges Kenya to be a model also since she has a derrière that won’t quit (my words not his). Well then.
Vivica is then relegated to holding onto Kenya’s personal belongings as she models for Geraldo. She’s has hit an all-time low. Vivica is, however, allowed to shoot a photo sitting down of her backside in which a baby and his dad are reaching for her buns. Kenya really things this idea of hers is going to go over well in the boardroom.
Then Viv loses her phone. Ouch. #Phonegate.
Infinity, however, is smooth sailing. They capture amazing photos in the helicopter Ian groveled for, and it looks like the are doing rather well at what Mr. Trump was asking for.
It was time for King’s Hawaiian to see both teams in action. They were all smiles during Infinity’s presentation. But during Vortex, you could tell the writing was on the wall.
In the boardroom, we learn that it wasn’t even close. Infinity once again wins.
Another ugly boardroom showdown commences as Kenya and Vivica begin to go head to head and toe to toe. The smart comments begin to fly as Kenya says that Vivica didn’t do anything during the challenge and should be fired. Vivica sticks up for herself and said she was completed every task given to her. She also wisely continued to point out that they lost the challenge because Kenya’s campaign of “buns” was inappropriate for a family brand, even though her and Geraldo were against it.
Kenya tries to save herself by saying that Vivica is up and down and not consistent. She also suggested that Vivica may be bi-polar or have “hot flash” issues. Kenya then proceeds to say that Vivica tweeted about being menopausal to which Viv quipped that she never tweeted such a thing. Donald’s son pulls up Vivica’s Twitter and sure enough, there’s a tweet about her being hot and going through damn menopause. Vivica is livid and said she would never tweet that. Her phone was missing, and she thinks Kenya stole it and tweeted from it.
Vivica then calls Kenya the B word and a slew of others. Donald Trump believes Vivica because her other tweets were positive and friendly—none of them were personal and degrading.
And because the “Baby got buns” campaign was Kenya’s (and because she is a possible thief), she’s fired.
Bye, Kenya!
Now hour two.
Now that Vortex is down to two, Donald moves Leeza over to Vortex hoping she can keep them alive.
The next task is for the teams to come up with a jingle about Bud Light’s Margaritas.
Leeza is the PM for Vortex and Brandi is the PM for Infinity.
Leeza comes out the gate with Vortex and begins to create a jingle for them to use. Geraldo, thinking the jingle should be of Spanish flavor, has his own idea. But Leeza is smart and gets her away this time. She allows MC Geraldo to rap some bars, though.
Over on Infinity, Johnny Damon composes a jingle Brandi likes, but Ian wants to use another melody that is hella years old. By changing the words, he thinks this is okay, but Brandi wants to use Johnny’s jingle. And they do. (after a shouting match between she and Ian).
Both teams pitch their jingles in front of Bud Light brass and Joan Rivers (may she RIP). And guess what? Leeza and Team Vortex finally get a win.
In the boardroom, Brandi and Ian start going at it. Ian thinks they would’ve won if they used his jingle. Donald Trump asks Ian to sing it, and when he does, he quips that his jingle is the melody of another song and can’t be used.
Ian is fired.
Then, without warning, Donald fires both Brandi and Johnny too. Infinity is no more!
So in two weeks, a new Celebrity Apprentice will be crowned. Will it be Leeza, Geraldo, or Vivica? We shall see!
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